


Playing With Fire

by joouheika



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Accidental Voyeurism, Dubious Consent, M/M, Manga Spoilers, Minor Character Death, Rape, Sibling Incest, Suicide Attempt, Torture, Unrequited Love, Violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-01
Updated: 2017-03-01
Packaged: 2018-09-27 15:15:22
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 27,961
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10027583
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/joouheika/pseuds/joouheika
Summary: This is a game that Zeke cannot ever win. [Bakery AU] (PLEASE HEED ALL WARNINGS/TAGS) MAJOR SPOILERS UP TO CHP 90





	

Zeke had decided he'd never become a man like his father.

When he'd been only a young boy, his mother had passed away from an incurable illness she long fought with it. He had no doubt his father had loved his mother immensely from the way he grieved and wept. While Zeke did give him that benefit of the doubt. He still could not help the accusatory feelings of resentment that perhaps his father, from a long line of doctors... who wanted along with his mother had- for Zeke to pursue such a path when he was older... he... Grisha should have been able to save her.

A miracle is what Zeke had wanted.

But his resentment does not take hold from only that, but the fact that after his mother's passing his father had taken him with him to a place he and his mother had never known about and would have never known about had she not passed away so early in life.

His father was having an affair.

Another woman already pregnant with his child.

They'd gotten married only a month after his mother's passing.

Zeke had been infuriated.

He'd thought at the time that he rather his father had just abandoned him to some strangers, far off relatives or a place to be adopted instead of this. How could his father do this? How could he have done this? Lies. How many times did he lie to his mother as she wasted away? 

Zeke holed up in his room determined to starve himself one week, his father having given up on banging on his door and yelling for him to come out. In the silence Zeke had thought to himself he'll rot away in here and join his mother where his father will never return to them. Liking the thought.

He had been a child. And while all his feelings and determination were legitimate, he was too young to yield to death. A tantrum he is aware it was. He'd always been an obedient child so it'd been a new and ugly feeling he was not used to (his father as well, unaccustomed to such a situation). It'd been uncomfortable. So when the comforting smell of warm bread had wafted through the cracks of his door and his stomach rumbled fiercely from having not eaten (it'd been only a couple days) he'd started to change his mind.

He'd cracked the door a little to see if it was his father, no longer trying to drag him out with words and shouts, but lure him with food. Zeke had thought he'd throw the food at him but when he'd peeked through it'd not been his father but his father's new wife at the door. She had always spoken to him kindly and to be honest, Zeke did not feel ill will toward her like his father whom he rather shoulder all the blame. His father's new wife was young. Even as a child Zeke had a concept that like his mother, such a beautiful woman must also was being taken advantage of by his no good father who couldn't do anything right.

"You're hungry aren't you?"

She'd said when she'd seen the door open slightly.

She'd sat on her knees to be eye level with him, the tray of hot fresh food set in front of her.

When Zeke couldn't bring himself to slam much less close the door on her warm, motherly smile. She continued on.

"I brought you some stew if you'd like to eat. There's also bread to go with it. I baked it myself."

His father's new wife's name was Carla. She'd always wanted to have a bakery, as baking was her passion and profession. So his father had helped her start one up. Their flat was located above the shop. And Zeke had to admit passing through the shop with its warm and delicious smelling wares it had brought comfort to him on being lead into a strange new place... until he'd learnt the truth.

Still, Zeke could not blame her.

He'd taken one look at the inviting tasty stew and gave in on the next grumble of his stomach.

They'd sat at his door way, her and him. He'd eaten and she'd spoke to him then. Assuring him that while she could not replace his real mother, she'd like for him to rely on her like a mother since she was soon to become one for the baby in her belly which she stroked lovingly. She went on to tell him that while she could not be a real mother to him, the child she would soon have would be his real little brother. She sincerely hoped that Zeke would be a good big brother to him. Because it'd be so nice for her baby to have someone like him as a reliable older brother.

Zeke had thought it over as he ate the stew.

And told her (diplomatically, he'd thought) he'd think about it.

Carla had nodded, and told him the conditions.

He wasn't allowed to stay only in his room, he had to come eat his meals, and do his chores, and come play a game with them if he'd like.

It'd brought a pang to his heart on hearing the word 'game', since board games, cards games, word games... games of all sort his mother used to love to play with him before she got too sick... and couldn't even leave her bed. Zeke told Carla to give him some time to think about it. But he did go downstairs to help wash up his dishes. His father avoided talking to him then, pretending to be occupied with reading the paper but Zeke could tell he was relieved that Carla had accomplished what he could not.

After a restless night, Zeke unable to sleep as he thought about his previous schoolmates that had younger siblings and what that might entail. Zeke had become giddy at the prospect. Worrying if he could be a good example, if his little brother would like him, then jubilated at the idea of what games they could play together when he was older. Because that's what big brothers had to be like to their younger siblings. A role model, a mentor, a friend... yes, something like that. Of course he didn't entirely understand since he'd not yet had the experience. But the idea of someone always being by his side, looking to him- the pangs of loneliness and isolation he'd felt from the death of his mother... it became dull as melancholy turned to expectation. And then, excitement.

While he did not get along with his father as he once had, he got along well with Carla. 

He stuck with her a bit too quickly and familiarly before Eren was born. 'Eren' was the name she'd decided on. It'd been the name of her older brother who had passed away when she was a girl. Apparently her big brother had been a friend of his father's which is how she'd come to meet him. 

Zeke set to impress her that he qualified to be a real big brother (though that'd not been necessary he understood later) he'd done all his chores meticulously, stiffly played a few rounds of chess with his father, and ate all his meals. He even went to the new school he'd been avoiding without the fuss. When he came home from school he helped Carla with other tasks, or just things she needed since it was getting harder for her to move the closer her due date neared. She helped him with his homework when his father was too busy with work at his clinic. In the morning sometimes he would also bake bread with her. She would teach him a new recipe now and then. For soft fluffy bread...crisp bread... chocolate filled cookies, sweet tea cakes, and fruit dabbled muffins. Zeke had to say he really enjoyed it, promising her enthusiastically that once he became just a great a baker as she he'd help her teach Eren when he was older like him.

With all these prospects filling him to the brim with joy, it overflowed when he got home from school one day... and finally Eren was here!

Carla had showed him off proudly, wrapped in a blanket white and plush, Eren who'd been sleeping at the time.

"Big brother Zeke, this is Eren. He's so cute isn't he?"

\--

Eren is so cute.

Even as a child Zeke couldn't help but become obsessed with him.

He always wanted to hold Eren, and watch over him (making Carla's job much easier, she always praised him). Zeke remembers he'd sulk if his father got to look after Eren longer than him; or play with him, which became less of a problem as Eren grew and of course preferred playing with a kid like himself even if Zeke was much older. Zeke taught him how to walk, and was extremely proud when he showed Carla who clapped her hands in delight.

When Eren had enough teeth Carla let him try some of the bread they'd made together, and when Eren started to speak Zeke began to teach him all he'd learnt so far about bread (though it was unlikely Eren understood everything). Once Eren started school, Zeke walked with him all the way. Contemptuous of any bully, suspicious of any friend. He always made Eren hold his hand and make him promise to tell him everything that happened when they weren't together when he came to pick him up and they went home together. As Eren got older (though still in need of a stool to see above the table), he joined Carla and Zeke in the before school activity of making baked goods (sometimes a success, sometimes quite... unique in taste) for the bakery. They did their homework together, chores together, played together, ate together, bathed together. And if Eren had a bad dream or simply wanted another bed time story he'd sneak into Zeke's bed and they slept together.

During this time Zeke could not have been happier.

Eren was his whole world and he had been Eren's.

Carla was always kind to him, and while he resented his father still, with Eren with him and seeing how relaxed he was with Eren. Zeke felt just a little bit, he could forgive their father.

So it'd not been fair.

He'd wanted to be a good big brother.

He'd wanted to protect Eren, to teach Eren, to love Eren more than anyone else.

He'd wanted it so Eren would never feel that feeling he'd learnt about when his mother had passed away. That pain and hollowness. That something was not missing from yourself but the very world.

Eren was always supposed to be bright and smiling, happy, since Zeke is here to look after him.

But there'd been an accident.

Around the time Eren was eight years old.

Their father and Eren's mother had been in a car accident. A delivery truck had lost control of the vehicle and hit them. Carla had died upon impact, but Grisha survived a few hours to make it to the hospital. On hearing his wife had passed already, he did not make it either.

Without understanding why something so cruel could happen.

Eren had wept uncontrollably, Zeke not a tear.

He had to be strong for Eren.

And he had wept before.

During this despairing time, he'd recently graduated from high school, and his father had been pressuring him to continue that dream his mother had had for him of also becoming a doctor but Zeke hadn't wanted it. It'd not been his dream. Not then, not now. What was his dream? He didn't know. Sometimes he wanted to ask Eren what it might be since Eren always slept deeply and dreamt vividly. Zeke thought Eren could see a nice dream for him.

It was after the funeral Zeke realised it though, his dream.

He loved the bakery Carla had poured her heart into, just as she poured her heart into him, their father, Eren. He loved baking bread with her and Eren and he'd promised her too, that he'd teach Eren all that he knows so Eren could become a baker just as fine as them. The heat of the ovens, his sweat from the fire, the smell of rising or baking bread. The dawn as it came through the window of the yet drawn back curtains as the grey early morning became a sunny day. That feeling, that moment as he rolled the dough, flour over his hands and flour on Eren's cheek as he turned beside him to ask what else he needed? 

What else did he need?

Eren's happiness, is his.

Eren is his dream.

Zeke had sold his father's clinic, and with what savings and insurance they'd been given since Zeke was of age. What money he could have used for college Zeke forgoes. He pays off Carla's bakery and saves the rest for living expenses. He devotes his time to Eren.

Making sure the bills are paid, bread can be made, Eren has new school clothes and supplies, food and shelter. Zeke takes over Carla's bakery. Eren helping him as much he can in the mornings before school, and taking over to run the shop once he gets home so Zeke can finish clean up and prep for the next morning. They continue this routine, with some hardship and then success. As they grow a clientele off the old one. More sweets fill their inventory as Eren's skills grow, always ready to make something new and exciting. Zeke sticks to what Carla taught him, happy to look and taste at Eren's passion and creativity.

The years pass peacefully like this.

Since their parents are no longer here, Zeke as Eren's big brother is his guardian.

All Zeke wants is for Eren to grow up healthy and happy with his protective care.

When the bakery is set for the next day, they return to their home above it. Eren often cooking a meal to go along with some bread they'd baked that morning. The chores. Eren's homework. Before getting ready for bed, a game or a story before sleep. But not always because if the game gets them too rowdy it's hard to sleep. Zeke does not lose often, and is quite the sore loser Eren always calls him on the few occasions he does. Zeke is sore about it because they have a reward system. Whoever wins the game (or the most games) gets to ask the loser to do one thing for them. And the loser has to do it no matter what. Always Zeke asks for a kiss on the cheek. Eren giving one sweetly and obediently as a child, as he gets older, still so but with some exasperation. For Eren sometimes asks him didn't he tire of the same reward over and over? Since Eren also gives him a kiss before he leaves to go to school... Zeke never does tire of it. Eren usually asks for candy, or ingredients for a new item he'd like to make that may be too costly for their regularly sold stock.

Zeke made the mistake one night on wondering about it.

Why did he never tire of Eren's kisses?

Why did one always leave him wanting another? More?

So he'd thought about it, thinking he'd drift peacefully into sleep at the thought of Eren.

But the more he thought on how it must be how soft Eren's lips are, how pink. How his pretty features all came close to his when he leaned forward to give it. His eyes bright and molten like warm honey, his dark long lashes, the scent of his hair, the way his fingers felt on Zeke's shoulders or against his chest. That while Eren had started to grow taller and develop, so had Zeke. A height Eren pouted at as he could not catch up to it and at times has to reach on his toes to give that kiss-

Eren is so cute.

When Zeke had been able to sleep it'd been a restless slumber, full of heat as he had thoughts he shouldn't have had. Eren's lips on his cheek, his neck, then his mouth. Eren's hands against his chest, his body flushed to his and Eren's cheeks a pink darker than his lips. Eren saying his name sweetly, breathlessly as Zeke had touched at his hips and drew him closer-

Zeke had woke up the next morning, his sweat cold on the sheets, his boxers wet and sticky with cum.

It became a regular ordeal across the week, when he wanted Eren's touch to linger, his lips to stay. When Zeke thought about how prettier Eren had become over the years, though he'd been adorable as a child. It didn't help that Eren liked to bare his slim limbs, not keen on wearing layers when the heater could be turned up in the winter, and prone to the concept of wearing less once the heat of summer hit like a beast. Zeke became more aware of it as they grew together, and the dreams became more graphic.

How attractive Eren is.

Having not bathed together since they were children, Zeke gets to see only so much. It's already too much. Eren likes to sleep in these small shorts that barely covers his thick plush looking thighs, the ban hanging over too wide hips that on the mornings when it's Eren's turn to make breakfast, as Eren has his back turned. Concentrating on the bacon or eggs he's frying. Zeke imagines clasping his hands over those hips, then Eren's soft and round ass, curved in the thin fabric. To have his cock resting between the cheeks. He thinks about pressing his stomach to the small of Eren's back as he kisses the back of Eren's neck. He considers what it'd feel like to fuck Eren against the countertop. Eren's hands would be over his, trying to push them away, tell him no? Or would Eren cup his hands over his and pull them up, encouraging him to touch more? Up his flimsy tank top that Zeke can see down when Eren bends over the table to set his plate down or refill his near empty coffee cup (he always takes it black, Eren dumping sugar and cream into his own cup); so Zeke may touch and twist at his perk and pink nipples until he's gasping and writhing in his touch.

Zeke is disgusting.

Since that first wet dream, even before it.

He has been vying and coveting of Eren's attention and affection since he'd been born.

But could one blame him?

Without Eren he'd be alone and empty, a shadow made from the dead, living on to become nothing.

With Eren he has purpose, he has warmth, clarity.

He isn't lonely.

He is supposed to be Eren's big brother.

Zeke understands it's not natural for him to be having these thoughts even if it's not his fault Eren is too beautiful.

Zeke never acts on them, knowing this. Knowing in reality should he ever reveal this... beast inside him, that Eren would no longer want to be with him. He'd no longer smile at him, or kiss him. He'd try to run away. He may even hate him. Zeke shudders at that idea, but can't stop his dreams at night as he envisions touching Eren all over. Eren taking him inside him and asking for it more, and harder, Zeke! Zeke! _Zeke!_

Eren should never know, he won't ever know, Zeke thinks.

He's always imagined their future as a continuing present, once Eren graduates high school they'll continue running the bakery together. If Eren does want to continue school, he can go to a university nearby. He wouldn't leave his big brother alone for so long. Every morning they'll have bread together, bake bread together, the same in the evening after a day's work in the shop. Eren would man the storefront, selling all that they'd made and Zeke would prepare for the next day to be exactly as the next.

Zeke has only wanted these peaceful days to continue and he will not wreck his own peace.

It is perfect like this.

So long as he doesn't lay a hand on Eren they could continue like this to the end of their days.

It was another mistake, Zeke reflects, that he'd not taken into consideration what was vital above all this-

Eren's feelings.

That perhaps.

Eren did not want these boring days that are every day like the next to continue.

\--

Zeke should have.

He might have been able to prevent it all should he have given it as much thought as their games of chess.

Zeke hadn't expected this to ever happen because it was unthinkable.

Zeke is in the backroom, preparing some ingredients to be used tomorrow, hands covered in flour. The door leading from the kitchens to the shop is cracked a bit like it always is. Zeke likes to hear Eren greet and speak to their customers. In the morning before school he helps Zeke bake the goods and put them out in the shop after their breakfast. Zeke cleans up a bit in the back, washes up, then takes over the shop. Eren dealing with the first burst of customers before he goes to school. When he returns in the quieter hours of evening he sells what little remains to the few drifters as Zeke does the routine of finishing the wash and prep for the next day's baking in the back. 

Not many people come in at this hour, like Eren- students are home, and workers out late will be off after they close, families are readying dinner after errands.

Which is why Zeke had not been suspecting that they'd get a regular at this hour.

He's here again. That man.

Zeke kneads the dough harder than necessary as he overhears the conversation in the front, muffled since Eren had cracked in the door less (in preparation of his coming? But then he may have just closed it so Zeke is only be paranoid). Zeke listens in harder. Thinking over previous discussions.

He comes in every Thursday and buys whatever. Eren had told him when Zeke had inquired... who the evening regular was. Eren had gradually grown pinker with each question and every mention of this customer, to Zeke's annoyance. Eren had continued that the customer had tried the earl grey mont blanc he'd made a few months ago and so came in to see if he could buy it again. It'd been one of Eren's projects (always something new and never again unless it sold well), but he was thinking of making it once more on behalf of the dedication of this regular... who'd not bothered to mention that was his aim until Eren had asked at Zeke's prompting.

Eren had also continued to mention, the regular had said he not need to trouble himself, since he didn't mind trying the 'other weird shit' Eren was always making. Eren had laughed a little bit on quoting the swear and Zeke had looked on unamused.

What really had got to Zeke was when Eren had told him the regular was not fond of sweets, yet kept wanting to try Eren's projects? Eren who put tons of sugar or honey or fruit in everything? It didn't add up, and to add to Zeke's annoyances on this regular he noticed Eren had recently been putting less sugar into his creations... almost like he was trying to appease the tastes of this insignificant regular.

Seeing Eren's eager and happy face every morning as he got to work on this new manner of creation, Zeke decided he hated that regular more than anything.

Such sentiment growing and boiling with each visit.

No matter how busy or not busy they got, Eren always saves a new pastry, a new bread, or cake or even bag of cookies for this uncouth fellow, this ungrateful- this unworthy-! Zeke is fuming as he listens in on Eren's explanation of the good he's baked, he's made really, honestly! Especially, for this... this-

"Do you think you'll like this better, Mr Levi?"

 _Levi_.

That is this bastard's name.

It's like poison at the tip of his tongue, he cannot bring himself to say it; thinking it alone was giving him a headache. Indigestion. An ulcer.

Today Zeke had decided he was going to have a good (well good enough from his position) look at this guy. Who spent every Thursday evening chatting Eren up until the shop closed, getting his free or discounted baked goods from Eren who was too kind for his own good. Zeke tries to be discreet so he's not seen back through the crack of the door.

Unlike him, the man is dark haired.

Like him. A much older man. Probably close to Zeke's age. Short in statue, broad shouldered. A suited figure carefully trying to deceive about the bulk of the muscles that actually lie beneath the clothing, Zeke understands. Finding it difficult to find such clothing himself. Not minding the attention Eren gives him over the muscles in his arms and chest from hefting the sacks of flour and working by the racks in the oven for long hours. He feels like a show off in an ill fitted shirt, and is careful to wear layers when going out.

It must have taken money, such quality the fabric looks to have behind the skill. That thought causes Zeke to hate that man, this Levi even more. He could afford to buy what Eren was giving him for free, but instead... instead...

Zeke can feel his sweat run down his back, not from the heat of the ovens but the thought, further, truthful- the scene unfolding before him. It was Eren. Eren was refusing to accept his money, even the large amount Levi tried to give him as backpay. Eren insisting that since Mr Levi always gives him such thoughtful feedback, he doesn't need the money... so long as Mr Levi keeps coming to see him every Thursday...

Zeke knows the look Levi is giving Eren, familiar with the feeling.

Levi promises Eren he will, clasping their hands together.

Zeke glares hatefully.

He scoffs internally to himself, this man, who came in every Thursday evening to look at his Eren. Who thought he had a chance with his good, too kind and understanding Eren-

But then Zeke had moved, to catch a glimpse of Eren's face and his heart had dropped.

A smile he's never seen before, a sort of warmth he's only dreamt about.

Zeke grows cold as he realises Eren reciprocates. 

\--

They're eating dinner that night when Zeke encroaches the subject. This dinner is one of his favourites and Eren's too, a creamy and thick chicken stew. The very stew Carla had made him to end his hunger strike all those years ago. There is also a green salad with cranberries and walnuts, and of course fresh and hot, crisp white bread to go along with it. Eren is buttering a slice heavily, the yellow butter melting instantly into the bread. Steam still rising.

"He came again today didn't he?"

Eren looks up from his large bite, chewing.

Swallows.

His face already a little pink.

"...Are you, talking about Mr Levi?"

Zeke speaks carefully, trying to avoid any strong emotion from appearing on his face and sounding out with his voice. He takes a measured bite of his stew. Glad when he sees his hand isn't still shaking from anger.

"I am."

Eren takes a few more hasty bites of his bread, looking away from him. Thoughtful and cautious.

"What... about him?"

Eren probably thought he was about to get scolded, for giving Levi so much free stuff. Zeke rarely scolded Eren about anything so Zeke could tell from Eren's demeanor that that was what he was expecting. Truly he'd been spoiling Eren. Willing to give into his every request, so long as Eren threw his arms around him and smiled at him, called out to him happily- kissed him-

Zeke gets to the point.

And even he is surprised at the lack of feeling within his inquiry.

"You're in love with him aren't you?"

It'd been so obvious to Zeke, looking from an outside perspective.

Feeling returns to him as he looks at Eren's expression, another he's not yet seen. 

Eren's whole face turns deep red as he looks caught then confused, understanding steadily washing over it all like a gentle wave of a calming sea. The tenderness in Eren's eyes causes Zeke's gut to twist worst than it did before as he realises he's made another mistake of many. Zeke had known. But Eren had not yet known.

This was probably the first time Eren has fallen in love with someone, the idea had yet to cross his young mind. Zeke is full of regret as he looks upon Eren's flushed and lovestruck expression.

As the shock fades away from Eren and realisation takes hold, Eren stands up abruptly, excusing himself from the table to hurry into his room. Embarrassed and overwhelmed. 

Zeke doesn't take another bite of his food. Letting both their unfinished meals grow stone cold as he curses himself for his own stupidity.

\--

It's painful.

With Eren aware of his feelings, each Thursday visit is even more torturous than the next as Zeke sees Levi taking notice. How Eren must know. Eren's once straightforward explanations and manner, rendered with stutters and his face flushed that other appealing colour. Zeke looks on, wishing his stare could burn a hole into the hand Levi has placed on Eren's shoulder. Levi unable to look away from Eren before definitely can't look away now. Their conversation too low for him to hear. Once Levi has left (with heart shaped shortbread, chocolate and orange peel baked in) Zeke hears Eren give out a miserable wail and sink to the floor of the shop. Zeke rushes from the back to see if he's alright. Eren's face is as red as Zeke thought it'd be despite his hands covering the most of it. Eren's fingers spread to reveal his eyes. Eren glares at him from the floor.

"Why'd you have to tell me that! Stupid! Stupid Zeke!"

It's lacking in heat his words, since all that heat is on his face.

Eren looks away from him, bringing his hands down from his face to his breast.

"What should I do? It won't stop pounding like crazy..."

Zeke's palms are slick with sweat as he looks over Eren. Jealousy wracking every cell in his body as he looks at Eren's parted lips and his longing expression. Eren would let Levi kiss him there. Eren probably wants Levi to kiss him all over, and touch him all over, and enter him over and over. All the while looking at him with this same expression, his heart pounding. Zeke feels sick as he thinks about it. Collecting himself momentarily when Eren tugs at the edge of his shirt. Looking up but not at him from his place on the floor, with that same adorable expression.

"Help me up please."

Zeke's knees feel weak as he does so. He's careful about where and how much pressure he puts into his touch as he helps Eren to his feet. Trying to quell down his dangerous notions. That he should push Eren back down, onto his knees and push between his kissable lips, his hard cock. How would that man feel should he return in that moment to the shop, to see Zeke plundering the warmth of Eren's sweet mouth? 

Zeke wants to do it.

He also wants to turn Eren over this counter and fuck him raw. Where he always has his conversations with Levi, where he met Levi, where Levi is always looking where he shouldn't be. Zeke wants to enter Eren again and again and cum inside him. Eren likes older men does he? Did he forget his big brother is also an older man? What sort of cries and gasps would Eren make as he tries to squirm away from his touch, his cock? Cute Eren. Allowing himself to fall over a couple of cool words. A suit. Naive. Young. Adorable. Zeke holds back a groan as Eren leans up onto his toes to peck him on the cheek for helping him up. 

Eren disappears into the back of the shop, up the drawn staircase to their home. 

Zeke holds a hand to his cheek where Eren had kissed him, silencing a scream as he tries to keep this feeling, this memory forever. Trying to keep it together knowing it'll all be ruined the moment he gives in.

\--

That man hasn't visited in a while.

Zeke is relieved but monitors Eren's mood closely. If it's bothering Eren he doesn't let it show until each passing Thursday arrives and with it Levi does not. He's listless and distracted those days. Closely watching the door to the shop hoping the bell will ring and reveal the suited regular.

Months pass after the weeks and Zeke is ready to move on. Eren too he thinks as winter ends and spring arrives. It's around February all those fears and anxieties Zeke were having seemed a stupid thing, distant and insignificant. 

Zeke is glad to see Eren is back to adding his usual amount of sugar into the cakes and cookies he bakes, along with the chocolates he makes for the upcoming holiday. Valentine's Day is typically one of their busier days and when Eren is most busy given sweets are his forte. They're still selling their usual loaves of white or wheat, raisin or oat bread, rolls and buns. Blueberry or banana muffins are replaced with raspberry or chocolate chip. An assortment of cakes all chocolate themed, lined with strawberries can be ordered in advance. A selection of chocolate bites with fillings of fruit, nuts, or Eren's favourite- more chocolate can be boxed. Heart shaped cookies take centre and can be prewrapped in pink ribboned bags. Once simply glazed donuts are fashioned similarly for the occasion. Coated in of course chocolate- milk, white, dark, filled with blackcurrent or raspberry jam. Along with this line up is the additive of Eren's selective projects, he goes all out every Thursday. A white chocolate drizzled croissant filled with apple and cranberry compote covered in almonds, a layered cherry tart that goes from tart to sweet the closer to the crust You get where there's also a layer of chocolate beneath it all- topped in whip cream, then for the holiday itself- a heart shaped chocolate fondant, dark on the outside milk on the inside with a single piece of hard candy waiting to be found that means you must be careful not bite too hard while eating.

Everything sells well, and Zeke sees Eren has stopped saving his projects for that man who hasn't visited in a while. Valentine's Day falls on a Friday too so the only projects Eren has are the special orders waiting to be picked up.

Zeke is happier than he'd expected he was going to be on this day, but with that man out of the picture he can relax. Helping Eren pack up the cookies he always gifts his friends (Armin and Mikasa who gift him chocolate in turn), and some of his nosy insisting classmates who he guesses are kinda his friends too. Eren had gotten up way earlier than usual to bake this tremendous bulk and work on the orders for today. Rising even before Zeke. Though it's usually Zeke who has to rouse him out of bed when he oversleeps which is often. Zeke accepts the chocolate fondant Eren made for him. Red velvet unlike the others. Zeke eats the red cake jubilantly as Eren kisses him on the cheek. Chocolate on Eren's cheek from his tasting. Eren hurries off already running late. Bag heavy with cookies. Zeke looks into the shop to see Eren has finished the set up too. It looks good. The red and pink- ribbons, laced hearts, blooming flowers that decorate the usual natural cherry wood of the shop's interior.

Along the eventful, busy morning a customer pushes up her hair matching silver framed glasses while checking out, brings to his attention that there's chocolate on his cheek.

Zeke touches the spot where Eren kissed him, out of habit, but the chocolate is on the other cheek.

\--

Once Eren returns from school he helps Zeke sell the last of their stock. It's not until later than usual they're able to close. The sun setting in the distance giving an orange glow to their surroundings. Zeke is cleaning up in the back. From how good sales are and how much work they put in for these past few weeks, they'll take Saturday off. Usually they're closed only on Sundays, but he thinks it'd be a good exception this week.

Zeke is still in a good mood, seeing how pleased Eren is at all his cakes and chocolates having been bought, then bringing home a good deal of chocolate of varying brands and flavours from his friends and classmates who were excited about the cookies that some were thoughtful enough to repay the sentiment.

Zeke double checks the orders, all have been picked up except one. Figuring if no one comes for it they can eat it themselves, and issue a refund should the customer ever turn up another day Zeke leaves it be. He's going to make dinner tonight and has planned a bit more elaborated and extravagantly than he usually allows his wallet outside of Christmas or birthdays but is sure Eren will enjoy it. Deserves it. Then he'll give Eren these chocolates he's made- the bunch of sunflowers he'd bought-

Eren loves flowers. He'll be sure to give Zeke a kiss for them, another, maybe another- in thanks-

Caught up in his planning Zeke almost misses the chime of the bell as someone enters the shop. Thinking it might be the last order customer, Zeke heads to inform Eren of the possibility but stops stock still before the doorway into the storefront from the back as he sees Eren is gaping. Speechless.

At the large bouquet of red roses being presented to him, tied up in white paper and satin ribbon just as red.

"I'm sorry I'm late."

Eren accepts the flowers and Levi's apology. Zeke steps back a step, completely numb.

"No... you told me you'd be gone for a while. You're actually back early aren't you sir?"

Levi hesitates to answer, like it'd be admittance.

"...that's right."

Zeke hears the rustle of the paper around the bouquet as Eren holds it closer to him, smelling the flowers. Delighted.

"Welcome back. Were you able to finish your work?"

Levi hesitates again, no doubt he'd rushed through the work to gain this time.

"...I did."

"That's good to hear," Eren says, about to say something else as he looks up from the roses to look back at Levi, but before he can say anything else that small space between them is filled as Levi leans over the counter. His fingers in Eren's hair as he cups the back of his head and pushes him towards him. Kissing him. 

Zeke feels like the floor and the space around him has fallen away and all he's doing is floating in place, waiting to drop.

Where?

Eren is kissing Levi back, the flowers caught between them. 

Eren is panting as Levi draws away slightly, saliva stretches and breaks between them as Eren touches at his moist lips amazed, unbelieving-

"I wanted to see you."

Levi says, voice low and hoarse. Continuing.

"I was going crazy without you."

Levi's fingers have moved from Eren's soft hair to the back of his neck, resting there possessively. Zeke hopes before he drops he'll finally be able to manage burning a hole through that hand by glare alone. He doesn't of course.

Eren is overwhelmed, but happy. He manages a reply.

"...Mr Levi, I wanted to see you too."

"Eren."

"I missed you."

Eren is hugging the flowers to him as Levi leans forward to kiss Eren again. Eren meeting him softly, shyly. The kiss not as deep as the first.

Their voices hushed and distant as Zeke starts to feel himself fall.

He goes.

Lower, lower, lower, lower, down, down, down-

Until Eren's voice draws him back up.

"Zeke?"

When he gets no reply.

"Big brother?"

Zeke is standing in the storage room. He doesn't remember walking or going anywhere but he must have gotten here before he'd gone... where ever that'd been.

Had he been looking for something here?

"Oh... sorry. I was spacing out. What is it Eren?"

Even to him Eren is regarding him shyly, all the while holding those roses. Eren fidgets a little before speaking, looking at him hopefully.

"I'm... going out tonight with Mr Levi. Will you be alright with the clean up and the prep by yourself?"

Zeke hears himself replying but he doesn't recollect forming the thoughts behind the words he says to say them.

"I was planning on the shop being closed for tomorrow anyway so it shouldn't be difficult."

He'd also been planning-

"Really?! Are you sure Zeke?"

Eren looks so happy.

"Yeah. It should be fine. Just be back by 10pm tonight. You can help tomorrow with putting away the decorations and we can rest easy on Sunday."

Eren is overjoyed.

"Thank you big brother!"

Eren is adorable.

He gives him a kiss on the cheek before hurrying back to tell Levi he'll be back soon. He wants to put the flowers away... he also has something for Levi too.

Zeke remains in the storage room as he hears Eren run water upstairs, to put in the vase with the unwrapped flowers. A change of clothes and his keys in his pocket, his coat. His shoes. Zeke hears him hurry down the stairs. Then open the fridge with the order that'd still yet to be picked up. So all along... Eren had hoped... had been saving that-

"It's mont blanc sir. Since you enjoyed the earl grey one so much, I made another with rose jam and black tea as well."

Eren went on to say he was surprised Levi enjoyed the other so much since this confectionery was made primarily out of sugar so it was much sweeter than he thought Levi would like.

"Not bad," Levi says, "sweets aren't bad once in a while."

Zeke doesn't remember moving from the storage room but he has. He's standing again in the backroom, the kitchen, so he can barely see out to the front of the shop. Levi's hand is around Eren's wrist. Eren has a small fork in his hand. He'd been feeding Levi bites of the mont blanc. 

"The ones you make are always delicious Eren."

Eren flushes at such praise, especially since it's from Levi.

"No... ah, surely-"

"You don't believe me? Why don't you try a taste yourself?"

Levi takes the fork out from Eren's grasp and feeds him a bite, another. Levi watching closely as Eren's mouth wraps around the fork, his tongue sliding across the metal as his licks up the sweetness of his own making. Eren's slight delighted noise of satisfaction causing both Levi and Zeke to shudder in arousal. Eren smiles over at Levi, caught.

"...mm, it's good."

Levi begins to feed Eren more, wanting to see more of that adorable expression but Eren fights him for the fork, arguing the mont blanc was supposed to be his gift to him! Goodness! So it wouldn't be right if he ate it all right? Levi complies but only if Eren resumes feeding him.

The bell chimes loudly as the door shuts behind them. Levi's arm is still around Eren's shoulders even as Eren ("Shoot! I almost forgot!") locks up the front. The sign already turned to "closed" the whole while. "Open" stares over at Zeke who stares after Eren and the closed door.

\--

Zeke somehow manages to tidy up the backroom on his own, not touching prep since they'll be closed tomorrow and not trusting in himself that the clean up was at all adequate. He figures he'll skip dinner and go to bed, too depressed and not in his right mind to do anything else. He washes up, his shower longer than usual, it's not until the water is freezing cold that he notices how long he must have been in there. 

He changes into his night wear and doesn't make it to his bed. Instead he veers into Eren's room. Inhaling deeply when he enters, then deeper once he flops down onto Eren's bed and presses his face into Eren's pillow. Eren's scent is everywhere here. Zeke's heart pangs sharply, alone in the room, alone in his chest.

Zeke turns his face to look at the time, the clock on Eren's nightstand surrounded by an assortment of plush monkeys (gifts from Zeke, toys that'd once been his) and tigers (Eren's favourite animal). It reads 8pm.

Had Eren already eaten? Were they having dessert? What else were they going to do? What sort of restaurant had that man taken his little brother to? What sort of food was he having him eat? What sort of place was he having him sit at? What sort of sights was he showing Eren? Would they go see a movie after? Have a walk in the park? Would they hold hands? Would that man kiss his Eren even more like Eren surely wants, and make Eren sigh that longing breathless sigh as he wants more-

It's not fair.

He's loved and cared and wanted Eren for much longer than that man, that Levi has.

He knows all about Eren's favourite sweets, the sort of songs he likes to listen to, the places he likes to go, what interests him, what makes him laugh, what makes him cry. He knows Eren will probably never win at cards because his bluffing is terrible, which is odd because his acting during charades is top notch. He knows Eren's every weak point when they wrestle, those spots he's most ticklish at. He knows Eren's favourite flavour of ice cream is strawberry, and the only flavour he likes more than strawberry is strawberry and chocolate chip. He knows Eren is a crybaby, and after he gets mad at a sad movie he'll bawl about it for hours. He knows Eren hates onions for that reason, because while they make everyone cry they make him cry the hardest when he cuts them, even though they taste good in the stew. He knows what Eren's first word had been ("Exterminate!"). He knows Eren sleeps in especially when it rains. He knows Eren hates cold weather. He knows-

It doesn't matter all that he knows.

Eren is his little brother and in love with that man, that Levi, that monster.

That's what Levi is.

A monster for taking Eren away from him.

When Eren is his, has only been his.

Eren, Eren, Eren, Eren, Eren, _Eren, Eren, Eren-_

Zeke is touching himself as he says Eren's name, mumbles it and tumbles it about his mouth against the pillow Eren lays his head to at night. His soft hair, his soft cheek, his soft breaths. Zeke fists his long hard cock and pumps it. Inhaling deeply Eren's scent, his sweat, his preferred floral soap. He beats himself off recalling each and every time Eren's lips had touched his cheek today. Eren's hopeful, pleading face as he'd asked Zeke if he'd be alright by himself?

He's not.

Zeke isn't alright by himself.

It's lonely without Eren.

Without him to share a meal with, without him to wash the dishes with, no games or late night movies that Zeke will throw kernels of popcorn at Eren until Eren throws some back at him. No bed time stories. No musing on what their parents had been like as they go through an old photo album. No chatter as Eren excitedly tells him about a pastry he is planning to make. No laughter as Eren teases him on how doesn't Zeke ever want to get married one day? He can take the day off now and then, leave it to Eren to deal with the shop. Zeke should go out and have fun... but there's no fun if Eren isn't with him.

Zeke moans.

He wants Eren.

Sweet Eren. Kind Eren. Eren who just wants his big brother to be happy too and is worried, that because of him his brother wasn't getting all that he should out of life. That it was his fault. That he's holding Zeke back. Cute Eren. That's all Zeke needs. So long as he has Eren he doesn't need anything else, he doesn't want anyone else. Pretty Eren. Zeke remembers a morning one of many, Eren had still been half asleep as he roused him. Telling him he'd be late for school if he didn't hurry. No need to help him with the shop today. Eren had sat up and must have forgotten he was there still, even as Zeke was putting together his bag for school because he'd started to take his clothes off even with him in the room. What Zeke had been avoiding for years, since that night, so many nights. He'd rushed out of the room but not without catching a glimpse-

Zeke imagines Eren taking off his clothes. Eren climbing atop of him, riding his cock as his face is flushed and flustered. Eren calling his name, crying for him, begging for him.

Zeke wants to kiss Eren.

He recalls painfully how cute Eren had looked after Levi had kissed him.

Zeke rolls over onto his knees, crying into Eren's pillow as he cums.

\--

He'd cleaned up best he could but still can't sleep. He'd turned off the TV once he saw it was near midnight already. Eren is still not home. Zeke sits on the couch waiting.

Maybe he'll scold Eren. For good this time. Yell at him like he's never done. Like Grisha might have. But Zeke is not their father. And the idea doesn't sit well with him even if Eren is not yet home at the time he should have been.

To Zeke, in actuality Eren should never have left in the first place.

Zeke looks out the window through the blinds at every noisy car that passes by.

Finally a car parks in front of their bakery.

An expensive looking black car, clean and without a scratch. Zeke considers putting more than a few scratches on it as he sees Levi get out of the car. Rounding it to open the passenger door, for Eren who steps out, accepting Levi's offered hand.

Had Eren been drinking? Zeke for however low he thinks of Levi wouldn't think he'd dare do that in public, with a minor. Zeke sits back on the couch. Grinding his teeth. Waiting to hear Eren unlock the door downstairs but there's no sound of such. Zeke moves back to peak out the blinds. He'd long turned off the lights, the TV too before Eren had finally returned. Half expecting the car to be gone, Zeke is surprised to see it still there. They'd gotten out of the car he'd seen... what he'd not seen was them getting back in. Into the backseat. Zeke realises they must have. Feeling sick as he watches the car rock in a manner that could only mean one thing.

It's difficult throwing up anything, since he'd not had dinner, but eventually his light lunch comes up, the fondant, breakfast Eren had made him. After he dry heaves enough over the toilet.

Zeke flushes the puke down, stuck in the disgusting smell of lingering bile and his own revulsion at what had brought this all about to begin with. Surely right now, Levi is fucking Eren in the back of his car. He is holding Eren. Kissing him. Inside him and taking him all for his. When Eren isn't his at all.

Zeke feels sick again and coughs up some fluid, he spits into the toilet, grunting.

He moves to the sink to wash his face, something caught in his beard. He should brush his teeth but the sour acidic taste in his mouth is more akin to how he's feeling. And he feels he may be sick some more if he keeps imagining it. That man between Eren's legs, Eren's arms wrapped around him, and worse of all- Eren calling his name, over and over-

Finally he hears the front door open, close, then lock.

Eren retires to his room.

Zeke tries to collect himself. Waiting to hear Eren move out of his room, into the shower.

Footsteps.

Relief floods him and leaves him when it's made known to him Eren is not getting into the shower.

A couple knocks on the door.

"Zeke?"

Zeke's voice is somewhat hoarse but he clears his throat.

"You're back Eren. Do you need to use the toilet?"

"What? Oh, no I'm alright. I saw the light. I was surprised you were still up. Are you... trying to take a dump but the dump won't come out?"

Eren seems to be trying to joke with him but it's humour he's not used to, and certainly not used to hearing from Eren. Confused, Zeke tells the truth.

"I'm not feeling well."

Zeke sees the knob turn, slight panic running through him when he sees it give no resistance, not quite understanding why he rather not be seen since he really isn't taking a dump when it occurs to him it's that he rather not see Eren. He sighs in relief when he sees Eren has changed into a plush and oversized green sweater, the turtleneck hiding what Zeke had been dreading. Feeling queasy despite, Zeke turns around and begins coughing over the toilet. Eren alarmed at how violent Zeke's heaving is rushes over to pat his back, rubbing it soothingly.

"Do we need to go to hospital? Have you taken any medicine? Did you drink enough water?"

Zeke must look terrible judging from Eren's drastically concerned expression. Or was it concern with guilt backing it? For staying out so late to be with that... that...

Zeke is sure he's thrown up everything by now.

His face washed. As he brushes his teeth Eren looks around for medicine for nausea. He gives the tablets to Zeke along with a cup of water. Not satisfied until Zeke has drank the whole glass, he bids Zeke good night and returns to his room. 

Zeke goes to his room this time. He lies awake in his bed. Unable to let go of the fact that as Eren had tended to him, and sleeps a room away- he was still, is still covered by that man's smell... filled with his... essence- Zeke seethes, the medicine not helping the hard knot in his stomach and the pain in his breast, until finally exhaustion wrests him away from consciousness.

\--

Zeke is miserable.

Levi doesn't only just visit on Thursdays anymore but other days sporadically. Often after dinner he has to suffer Eren leaving him for a telephone call. His long fingers twirling through the cord as he bestows Levi a smile he can't see. Zeke has tried turning the TV up but he doesn't want to turn it up too much that Eren will take the call elsewhere, out of the kitchen and out of his sight-

Zeke is sighing, at the register today. He'd agreed for Eren to work extra hard another day so he could go out on another date with that greedy Levi. Zeke always wants to refuse, tell Eren no he can't go. But he doesn't want to cast any more suspicion than he already has that he's displeased about Eren dating him. If Eren knew just how much he hates that man and wants Eren to break up with him, Zeke is worried it'll only strengthen Eren's insistence on being with that man... also he'd be very angry at Zeke. And may not like him as much... and it was difficult. Saying no to Eren when he rarely does it, especially when Eren is looking at him with those imploring, begging eyes. It makes Zeke hard and he has to agree quicker, lest Eren notices (Eren never does). And then the fact of the matter, that Levi simply makes Eren so damn happy... Zeke hates Levi with every fibre of his being.

Zeke mopes as he wonders about what Eren is doing right now, dispassionately ringing up the thankfully few orders of drifters. A regular comes in later than usual when he's about to close. She's a classmate of Eren's. She always likes to buy their 'Lion's Mane' donuts. Cornflakes around a chocolate centre, dusted with sugar. A lemon curd filling. But she's also bought their other types before and they consider her a donut fanatic. Branching out curiously she's also purchased- simple glazed donuts. Apple fritters. Chocolate frosted rings with rainbow sprinkles. Powdered strawberry jam filled. Eren usually brings her a box of donuts for her birthday since they share a birthday month... what was her name? She was good at boxing like Eren's close friend Mikasa... they both packed quite a punch Armin had told him before. Zeke had considered asking Armin and Mikasa for some help with this situation, on Eren's... older boyfriend. But he knew if he planned something with them they would tell Eren for sure he was in on it. Then Eren would be mad at him...

So he needed someone who was in but still an outsider.

Someone strong too.

If a young girl came at that man, it'd be embarrassing to engage right?

It'd be inappropriate if he fought back so she really is perfect.

He is sure she could land a few good punches.

This- Annie! Her name is Annie!

Annie Leonhart. Oh that explains her fondness of a certain donut.

Annie has picked out her usual half a dozen.

She's counting out the money, the price the same as she knows it even without Zeke ringing the total. She's handing it over when Zeke holds a palm up in a halting motion.

"There's no need," he says. Annie looks at him quietly. Cautiously.

"What do you mean by that? I wasn't aware there was a loyalty point system that means I get free donuts."

Zeke speaks cautiously as well.

"There is one is special for you. And you can have a whole full dozen too for it, if you agree to deal with these terms."

Annie eyes what other donuts are in the case. Scrutinizing the selection.

"I suppose you're going to go on regardless of if I only want half a dozen."

She may work out a lot but she still has her health to look after. She also wasn't sure if she could eat that many donuts before returning home which is an important detail to her considering if her dad caught her with junk food he was going to be 'most displeased'. She wanted to avoid that.

But she also kinda wants more donuts.

Annie shakes her head.

"I won't do it,"

She says, but curiosity alone has her carry on- "whatever it is but I might know some blunderheads who'd be up to it if it's for what I think it's about."

Annie is aware of who Zeke is.

Zeke nods.

"So you know about... Eren's..."

Annie sees Zeke's difficulty on getting the word out and helps.

"Boyfriend?"

Annie thinks that is one hell of a frown Zeke is sporting, totally blows her dad's 'We can do better' frowns out of the water when she botches a match.

"...what do you know about him?"

"I know Mikasa also wants to kick his ass, since I overheard her telling Armin he's a relative of hers."

Zeke is startled. Annie figured he already knew since he was coming to her and not Mikasa. But that's clearly not the case.

"...sorry," Annie says, not sure why she's apologising but does it anyway since it seems... the decent thing to do given his reaction.

So Mikasa was definitely out of the equation, but she wasn't who Annie was going to suggest. Really if Zeke wanted to appeal to someone's sympathies, given how he was being an overprotective big brother since that's what he is it had to be someone like minded even if the guy in question was an only child-

"Yo! Annie! You come here too?"

Annie turns around to face Reiner.

She'd noticed him and Bertholdt following her from a few blocks back and was wondering when they'd catch up with her and come in. They did this at least twice a week. "Accidentally" run into her. She doesn't mind their attempts at being friendly, but she also likes being left the hell alone.

She also would have liked it if it always wasn't these two. Reiner is chatty for being mainly muscle. But Bertholdt is a quiet she can relate to. Couldn't Bertholdt be friendly without Reiner? It'd be way more peaceful like that. But she never saw the two without the other unless a class split them up so she doesn't think it's likely.

"It's the Yeager Bakery. Everyone who knows Eren comes here, Reiner."

She puts her money on the counter since Zeke won't let her hand it to him.

He's prepared her another half a dozen for the information.

"See you next time. Or maybe I'll see Eren instead?" she says.

Zeke nods before greeting Reiner.

Annie turns to Bertholdt as she leaves. Bertholdt gives her a small smile, jumping as she holds out the other bag of donuts to him.

"For you guys. I really can't eat them all myself."

Bertholdt stammers out his thanks, Annie seemingly unhearing until she holds up a hand in a brief comprehending wave. Not bothering to look back. 

With her figure disappearing down the street Bertholdt turns to listen to what Zeke is saying to Reiner... Reiner listening intently with that concerned frown on his face that always worries him that Reiner's going to try and be a hero. 

Bertholdt opens the bag and passes a donut to Reiner (full of raspberry jam), biting into a chocolate frosted, custard filled one and panicking when he gets a little of it on the floor. He looks around for a napkin to clean it up. Zeke passing him one without breaking eye contact with Reiner. As Reiner nods with powdered sugar about his face.

The problem Zeke is saying, is about this older boyfriend of Eren's they may have heard about who was really... more like a stalker...

\--

Zeke figures with Mikasa being tight lipped about Levi being her relative (Annie had merely overheard her speaking to Armin after all) and Eren not sharing as much as Zeke had been worried about since he'd remembered teenagers being like that. It wasn't hard to sway Reiner and Bertholdt's conception of the situation to fit to his agenda. Reiner was totally on board and Bertholdt as his friend would of course help him, in what Zeke wanted them to do. A prank, anything they were comfortable with planning and carrying out between the two of them. Zeke wouldn't know the details in case Eren heard about it and decided to tell him (that way his surprise could be... more genuine) and it'd give Levi a scare that Eren's friends were looking out for him and his classmates knew about how he was a cradle robber. Eren might have to even break up with him, as Zeke is sure Eren would want to protect Levi if the law was looking to get involved with enough tongues waggling. Or maybe Levi would want to protect himself and he'd break it off with Eren before it got to that... Eren would be sad Zeke is sure, but Zeke would be there for him... he'd definitely wipe Eren's tears away. And hold him close-

Zeke is looking forward to it, they'd kept him updated with visits to the bakery (donuts and coffee on the house) while Eren was away on errands or out with Levi. And this week they were finally going to do it. Whatever it was.

Zeke would have been in a better mood about the news, had Eren not been out on another one of his dates tonight. Tomorrow is Sunday so there's no extra work to be immediately done. Zeke thought he finally had an opening to refuse Eren but then Eren had promised him he'd do all the chores by himself and 'cook dinner even though it wasn't his turn and make those banana parfaits he loves for dessert!', it'd been sudden for Eren to promise that. He must have felt bad but really wanted to go out because once Zeke agreed Eren had hugged him tightly and peppered both his cheeks with kisses before hurrying out...

Even though Eren is supposed to be doing the chores Zeke doesn't mind finishing some of them, since there really isn't much to do without Eren here. He's putting away some of Eren's clothes. Unable to control himself from picking up the shirt Eren had changed out of to something else for where ever he was going tonight. Zeke holds it to his face, inhaling Eren's scent, he kisses at the collar. Imagining the fabric to still be warm from Eren's skin Zeke unbuckles his belt.

Just as he does so he hears voices in the outside stairwell, footsteps- the front door unlocking, it swinging open abruptly and violently.

"I can't believe Reiner or Bertholdt would do something like this! Jean or Connie I'd understand! But those two guys are typically really responsible! It doesn't make sense!"

Eren's voice is more than a little aggravated, but the tone shifts once he starts speaking to-

"Mr Levi are you ok? You can use the shower over there. I'll put your clothes in the wash. Ah, there's surely something I can find you to wear. Please hold on."

Zeke hears Levi go into the shower and Eren-

Zeke bolts into Eren's closet, probably not the best of places to hide he realises after he's only managed to get the door as shut as he could, a sliver of a crack letting him look out but not be seen in the dark. Zeke is lucky, as Eren only goes through the drawers by his bed to look for clothes. Managing to procure a pair of light grey sweats he rarely wore but not finding much else that'd fit. Zeke tries to calm himself, that he should be grateful he hasn't been caught. Even if Eren leaving his room means he's gone into Zeke's to look for what else Levi might be able to wear. Thinking about that man in his clothes, Zeke's fuming is put on hold as Eren returns to his room, looking again about his drawers. He's frowning, returning back to the rest of the house. Walking to the laundry room. Starting up the wash for Levi's clothes.

"Zeke!"

Eren is calling out for him, having not ran into him at all. He'd been expecting Zeke to be in his room since he'd not been in the kitchen or living room.

"Big brother! Where are you?"

"Zeke!" Eren tries again, "Are you home?"

Eren comes back to his room after knocking on the door to the toilet and finding it unoccupied is frowning. Usually Zeke would be home at this time. Errands would be done, chores would be getting finished and dinner would be getting started. He lived by routine, the time carefully planned, conserved, exact. It was a habit he'd always had. So it was odd to Eren who lived by his routine that he was not here when he should be.

Seeing Eren's frown and creased brow, his expression ridden with worry makes Zeke happy. Eren is so cute. Zeke feels his dick twitch, remembering what he'd been about to do before Eren had suddenly unexpectedly returned home.

Zeke watches as Eren picks up the couple maybe articles of clothing and leave, opening the door to the shower since he just heard the water turn off.

Levi has went with the grey sweats but it doesn't look like any of the shirts are an adjustable fit, he's a towel over his damp hair as he follows Eren into his room. Shutting the door behind him.

Eren is still trying to find a shirt for him.

"Are you sure you don't want to go with this one? I know it might be too loose since it's my brother's but mine are all too tight around the shoulders aren't they? Or you rather not wear a shirt?"

Eren is saying, turning around to Levi. The shirt that he had in his hands falling to the floor as Levi pulls Eren to him and kisses him. Eren's hands clasp about his shoulders, running down his chest. 

"You don't seem to mind so much," Levi says, drawing Eren's hands back to his chest when Eren pulls them away, embarrassed, caught.

"No I guess not sir," Eren replies as Levi sits down on his bed, the mattress dipping deeply and even more so as Levi pulls Eren onto his lap. Eren is straddling him as they kiss some more. His hands over Levi's chest, touching. Eren gasping into his mouth as he feels hard muscle next to hard muscle. Levi's towel falls from his head.

Zeke bites into his hand enough to taste blood to stifle his cry of horror. Trying not to be sick, his pulse racing. A cold sweat breaks out as he watches Levi begin to undress Eren. Pulling off the plush pink sweater he'd been wearing. Peeling off small white shorts, what else is beneath. Until Eren is naked. Zeke gets to see from the back, Eren's smooth bare skin. The curves and contours of his body. The back of his neck as that man kisses the side of it. Sucks at it. Bites. Levi is touching at Eren's torso, the sides of his body, skimming down and across his back, over his small waist, griping at his wide hips before reaching to grope his round ass. Zeke watches sick, cold, sick, cold, infuriated and enviously as Levi slicks his fingers with the tube of lube he picks up from the nightstand. His wet fingers clutches and parts the cheeks. Eren circling his hips around and into Levi's touch as he gasps, then cries out as Levi slips some fingers inside him. His voice pitched and adorable, like his flustered flushed face-

"Ah! Ah! Wait-! We can't-! Mr Levi, my big brother is, he's-"

"Not here right?"

Levi says, looking over Eren's writhing body, over his shoulder to the closet. Zeke feels like his heart stops in that moment before Levi looks back to Eren and pushes his fingers inside him deeper. Spreading them. Eren rams his ass back onto them, wanting more, wanting-

"-h-he could return home any minute-" Eren is protesting weakly, cutely. Levi looks like he wants to eat Eren up.

"Then we'll hafta be quick won't we? And you can't scream like you usually do."

Eren's whole face is red, his mouth opening then closing, as if he wishes to protest. Indignant, but sulkily Eren agrees.

"I will try sir."

"Oh? Will you now? Even though I think your voice is even cuter when you cum-"

Eren is frustrated between Levi's fingers, their time limit, and the content of their banter.

"Mr Levi! Q-quit teasing me! Hurry up and give it to me already!"

Zeke watches as Levi pulls his fingers out from Eren, pulling down his sweats a little to take out his cock. Eren sits up on his knees for a moment. Looking over his shoulder concentrative and concerned, trying to watch over the bulk of his ass, Levi's cock entering him. Feeling it, Eren starts to sit back onto it. He covers his mouth as he contently moans. Zeke watches as that man's cock disappears inside Eren's tight and eager heat. Wanting nothing more than to be in Levi's place in that moment Zeke bites his hand harder. Lightheaded, dizzy, infuriated at Levi's intentions since he'd not bothered with a condom.

Their mouths meet messily as Eren tries to quiet his moans by kissing Levi. Zeke watches in distress as Eren begins to ride Levi's cock. Levi's hands at Eren's hips, holding them, gripping them as Eren fucks himself up and down on Levi's cock, thoroughly-

Eren panting, murmuring, trying to be quiet, not at all adept at it- "Levi! Ah! Ah! Mr Levi it feels so good! More! Please give me more sir!"

Eren is adorable as he takes Levi in and near out. Back again. It must feel really good inside Eren from how Levi is clenching his jaw, grunting, leaning and turning hungrily into Eren's every touch, his every kiss.

"You want more do you? Got it Eren."

Levi pushes Eren onto the mattress. Atop of Eren he begins to pound into him fervently. The bed creaking beneath their weight. Eren's stifled, held in cries unable to be contained as Levi hits that sweet spot inside him that makes his cries just as sweet. Eren's every attempt to be quiet for nothing as he moans loudly in increasing volume, keening as Levi fucks him hard. 

Eren is even cuter than Zeke had imagined. 

His head hanging over the side of the bed, Zeke gets to see every one of Eren's expressions as he's submerged in pleasure.

His moist fluttering eyelashes, his swollen lips, his neck and throat covered in lovemarks, his face flushed, his soft brown hair swaying against the white sheets of his bed. The sleek sweat as it drips off his brow, the rest of his body, between the two of them. Barely he can see Eren's pink and swollen nipples, rubbed raw and pushed against Levi's hard chest. Levi is kissing Eren's neck, inhaling deeply his scent. Zeke watches as Eren struggles to lift his head up, Levi's hand snaking into Eren's hair and clutching it as Eren asks for a kiss. Levi kisses Eren long and hard, only parting their mouths so he can rise up onto his knees and get just that little bit deeper inside Eren, causing Eren to cum.

Seeing Eren's face as he cums-

Zeke cums as well.

Heart racing.

He feels sick to his core, he's shaking. Palms sweaty, he's trembling.

Levi is kissing Eren again. Eren's touch gentle across the back of his neck, reaching over his shoulders, feeling over the muscle there, coaxing and soothing. Their tongues intertwined as Levi cums inside Eren. 

Eren smiling, laughing as Levi tickles him with softer kisses, nipping at his ear. Zeke watches hollowly as Eren kisses Levi's cheek.

Levi pulls out of Eren slowly, gingerly. Eren gasping, flinching as he does so. Eren blinking sleepily as Levi suddenly rolls and turns Eren's body over onto his side. Zeke had felt himself, fading, melding, disappearing- into the floor, the wall, the ceiling. Space ceasing. But seeing Eren's fully naked, thoroughly fucked body pulls him back to reality. Eren's white cum all over his stomach and chest, Levi's cum seeping through his clenched thighs. Sticking between them. Levi cups Eren's face and leans it towards him so he may kiss him. Over his shoulder.

Eren's expression exhausted, euphoric, puzzled. Zeke is confused too. Why did Levi turn Eren over like that? As if he was... as if he is showing him off-

He's felt rage, disgust, hatred for this man.

He's been brought from him suffering and despair.

But not fear.

Not before.

Zeke shudders as fear grips him.

A wide cavern, a darkness so vast he can't peer past it, through it.

Did that man...

Does Levi know?

Zeke's shaking of before is nothing to the tremors wracking through him now. 

Unhearing to Eren's embarrassed giggling as he shakily leaves the bed to shower. Levi helping him up from the floor. Eren surprised when Levi doesn't join him in the shower. After the shower; he's pulled his clothes back on, Levi's situated though he still refuses to put on a shirt. The room tidied up. Eren suggests he stays here until he returns. In case his brother comes home before he does.

Levi nods and Eren kisses him over the mouth on parting.

He'll be back soon he promises.

Zeke remains unhearing even as Eren closes and locks the front door, hurrying down the stairs out the clanking gated door to the street.

He doesn't hear as Levi rises from the bed, or his measured footsteps as he approaches the closet and stands before it.

He's only aware of a ticking in the distance, faint, present, growing louder like Eren's moans had.

The sound abruptly dying as Levi opens the closet door and looks down on him in the silence of hands torn from an unknown clock. 

His expression deadpan and devoid of temperature until their eyes meet and Zeke feels like from his eyes to the back of his skull he's burning. Ash. Nothing.

No, not nothing.

Worse than that.

Scum.

Looking at him like he's some shit that won't get off his shoe.

Rubbish that should have been thrown away ages ago.

Cutting into that silence Levi says,

"How about you and I have a chat, shitty perverted _big brother?_ "

\---

Levi hates Zeke just as much as Zeke hates him.

Zeke's had a quick shower and put on clean clothes. He's made coffee but Levi doesn't touch the cup, or even look at it. They sit across from each other at the kitchen table. Levi's arms are crossed and his scowl foul. Zeke takes a sip of his coffee. Relieved to see his hands aren't shaking and neither is the rest of him like before. Even though that fear, that terror inside him is still present. Won't leave. Because this man... _this monster_ won't leave them be.

Levi regards him icily before speaking, leaning forward over the table. His arms unfolded. He holds up a hand, his pointer finger to his thumb as he presents three fingers.

His voice is frigid yet pissed as fuck, there will be no room for argument or breath should interruption be sought.

"So _big brother_ there's three things we can do about this. Listen carefully because Eren will be back soon and I ain't saying this shit more than once."

Zeke begrudgingly nods.

Levi nods in turn.

Lowering a finger.

"First choice. I tell Eren about the perverted voyeur shit fuck he has for a brother, Eren cries, never wants to see your nasty face again. And I take him home."

Zeke's mouth opens angrily but before he can speak, Levi's glare intensifies. Shutting him up. Levi lowers another finger.

"Second choice. _You_ tell Eren about what a perverted voyeur shit fuck he has for a brother. Eren will throw shit at you, hit you, curse you, cry and never want to see you again. And I take him home."

The last finger is lowered.

"Third choice. And this is the choice I'm the most in favour for. _Neither of us_ tell Eren what a perverted voyeur shit fuck you are. We forget any of this happened. You stop meddling in our relationship. Eren gets to decide if he eventually wants to come home with me. And he doesn't have to shed any tears over what a piece of shit his beloved big brother is. Got it?"

Zeke isn't sure he's allowed to speak and has trouble finding his voice, manages, disbelieving, "You... you won't tell Eren."

"No. And you won't either right?"

"No," Zeke replies.

"Then that leaves us with the third choice."

Zeke nods.

Levi sits upright, "Great. It's decided."

Levi rises to his feet.

Hands in his pockets as he rounds the table, Zeke turning his chair about to rise as well but before he can Levi slams his foot down hard onto his chair. The seat. Right before his crotch. Zeke sits back down. There's indents in the floor, but it's amazing the chair didn't break. Zeke has never considered himself physically weak but before Levi's natural and precise pressure-

His piercing glare honing in to slice him up.

Levi tells him.

"However. Know this. _If you ever lay a hand on Eren I'll kill you._ "

Zeke can feel his blood rushing down, sweat has appeared on every part of his skin again as his newfound fear rears its ugly vicious head, its bark as terrible as the promised bite. Zeke knows.

Every part of him screaming to run run run though he can't.

Levi will kill him.

No doubt.

If he-

"I don't want Eren to cry. So if you make him cry I ain't gunna hold back. Understood?"

Zeke nods, Levi frowns.

"Pipe up will you. I would have thought you'd be louder since Eren is so damn noisy."

Zeke turns red at that, angrily he replies, "Yes."

Levi scoffs.

"Cheers."

Eren returns shortly after their conversation. Zeke having finished his cup of coffee and Levi still having not touched his. They both turn to him the moment the door opens and Eren is hefting some full looking bags of groceries. Zeke helps him with them. Levi sits back down. 

Eren shoos Zeke out of the kitchen eventually. After explaining that since Mr Levi is staying over tonight he figured he might as well make the food he'd intended for Sunday today instead since it was a special occasion... what was that occasion? Eren became flustered. Because they have a guest! He'd still cook tomorrow he promised but it might be more simple.

The dining table is too close to the kitchen for Eren's tastes and he really doesn't want to be bothered so he has them sit in the living room together. Both sit as far as they can from the other on the couch. Zeke tries to read the paper as Levi isn't paying attention to the news that's on the TV. Eren has brought him a cup of black tea and some powdered sugar dusted cardamom tea cakes he's trying to carefully eat. A napkin over his lap. Zeke looks up from his (not) reading when Eren brings him half a hot cinnamon roll to go with his coffee. He's caught to be a faker when Eren places his glasses over his face; having left them in the kitchen earlier. He usually only needs them for reading.

The separate plates... the different before dinner snacks. Eren is definitely trying to make sure there aren't any arguments on whose snacks are whose. Zeke is feeling like a pacified child but is actually glad Eren took that into consideration. 

"Are you sure it won't ruin dinner?" Zeke asks wondering if Eren changed his plans since... he was accommodating that man.

Eren laughs, leaning over teasingly "Are you worried you won't have room for your parfait? That's why I only gave you half."

Zeke sees through Eren's bluff, thumbing the frosting from Eren's cheek and licking it off his finger says, "Is that the same reason you only ate half as well?"

Eren rights back up, pouting, caught- "Stupid Zeke!"

He returns to the kitchen, Zeke chuckling to himself until Levi suddenly gets up and goes into the kitchen.

Where neither of them are supposed to be.

"Ah! Tea? Do you want more tea sir- mm!"

Zeke's smile drops from the wet noises in the kitchen, Eren's distressed pants, then-

Trying to keep his voice down, "Stop! Don't put your hands- H-here is your tea! Please just wait a little longer for dinner! Please!"

Levi returns with a refilled cup of tea, his lips too smug even on the rim of the cup.

\--

Dinner had been Eren's favourite. Cheeseburger that he'd serve with rice if Mikasa were visiting but today he's made those onion sprinkled buns he's not fond of baking (due to having to cut onions, Zeke could hear him sniffling). Spread mayo, ketchup on the warm bun, a thick slice of melted cheddar over the juicy hamburger, there's more onions, tomato, lettuce to choose from to add onto the burger. Along with hand cut sweet potato fries. Steamed broccoli and carrots. Then for dessert is Zeke's favourite. What Eren usually only makes when it's Zeke's birthday or they're celebrating a good increase in sales; the banana parfait he'd promised. Banana cake on the bottom, banana ice cream, banana chocolate chip cookies, sliced bananas, banana pudding, wafers, more bananas and whipped cream, topped with almonds and in Eren's case, also chocolate. Zeke takes note Eren has put extra banana in his and topped it with sprinkles. Levi isn't sure he can finish his parfait despite that it doesn't have any additives and asks for Eren's help which consists of him feeding most of it to Eren who's still eating his own parfait.

After dinner Zeke would have rather turned in for the night but that would mean leaving Levi alone with Eren which is the last thing he wants. Eren suggests they play some games like they usually do. Zeke agrees though is bitter their tradition is being imposed upon by that man. That Eren wants to include him in their... family activities... as if he belongs here-

They settle on cards. Old maid. Levi's poker face is impenetrable and most rounds Eren loses.

Unsure how the reward system works between three people, Eren asks Zeke hesitantly. Levi scowling as he understands, before suggesting that Eren will simply have to reward the winner of the game that's only between Zeke and Levi which they heatedly, tensely play.

Zeke ends up winning.

Eren looking to him expecting him to ask for his usual prize, Zeke tells Eren he'll claim it another day.

Since they have a guest... he doesn't say that but Eren understands, giggling that his big brother could be embarrassed. Finally.

Unfortunately eventually they have to turn in for the night.

It's not until a couple hours in that Zeke hears Eren, his voice as sweet as before, as pitched and pleasured. The mattress and bed creaking. Zeke hears Eren call Levi's name through the walls, his pillow, the own horrible rapid beating of his aching heart. And when he makes the mistake of closing his eyes he can see Eren. Remembering what his cum covered, sweat slick, fucked body had looked like. Zeke beats himself off, biting into his pillow, grunting. Cursing Levi. Wanting Eren more than ever.

\--

The next morning.

With Levi's clothes clean and ironed he returns home.

Zeke relaxes as soon as he sees the door close. Eren forlornly lingering before it. Probably thinking about the kiss he'd had seconds ago with Levi before he left, Zeke considers bitterly.

Levi had had breakfast with Eren. Zeke sees. Zeke had been the one to sleep in today. It's Sunday. 

He sits down at the table. Still not entirely awake as he picks up the empty tea cup before him mistaking it for his mug. He sees Eren had had tea as well. The dishes aren't cleared yet and Zeke suddenly notices there's no plate set for him.

When he starts to get up-

"Sit down!"

Eren says, sharply, glaring at him as he turns around walking back into the kitchen.

Zeke sits down numbly, assuming the worst.

Levi had said he wouldn't tell... did he change his mind?

Eren is angry, but no, he doesn't know.

Eren clears his and Levi's dishes, trying not to put them down too hard in the sink. He fixes up Zeke a plate of the remaining sausages and eggs. Cold. The toast is also cold. He does not pass the butter when Zeke asks.

Eren slams the plate down in front of Zeke before setting to aggressively wash the dishes he'd put in the sink. Completely forgetting about the coffee which he hadn't bothered to make.

"I was thinking about it last night, and when I got up this morning it made sense to me. Why it was Reiner and Bertholdt who did what they did-" Zeke tries to interject "-don't speak!" Eren says, his voice rising in volume.

"It was you wasn't it Zeke? I could tell the whole time Mr Levi was here you don't like him at all!"

Zeke hates to lie, he's always considered their father a liar and he long ago decided he'd not become like him.

"Yes," he says earnestly, "How did you figure it out?"

Eren looks like he's struggling to hold everything at once- the situation itself, figuring out the situation for himself, Zeke's admittance- "Because! You weren't surprised at all when I told you why Mr Levi was here!"

Zeke thinks that's a little weak to be the only thing.

But Eren is not wrong, while Zeke had not known what Reiner and Bertholdt would do (their disguises seen through, they'd thrown water balloons, quite indiscreetly, and not full of water but instead something sticky like soda pop; Levi had shielded Eren not knowing what was going on and Eren had been aghast and livid as he tried to work it out) the fact that he was aware they were going to do something had not escaped Eren's rageful raking. Eren who knew him well-

Damn. So his plan wasn't foolproof.

Eren's face turns pink as he struggles to put into words his reasoning and Zeke wants to scoop him into his arms and kiss him.

"Also! Also! Just oh-! You make me so mad! Reiner is like a big brother ok! So of course he'd want to help out another big brother! And wherever Reiner goes, Bertholdt goes too! You do know he's the tallest guy like, in the whole school?"

Eren had got it right on the dot, by intuition alone, no evidence. And uh, Bertholdt as a giveaway.

Zeke really wishes he had a cup of coffee.

"Is that all?"

Eren is drying the dishes. Hard. Before he puts them onto the rack, huffing.

"No that's not all! Zeke! How could you put those guys up to do something so stupid! And... how... how dare you treat Mr Levi like that! I really admire and respect him!"

Zeke has to admit he'd been having a little fun with Eren, thinking how cute he was to be scolding him like this. Just glad Eren hadn't found out the actual truth and wasn't mad about that, because surely he'd hate Zeke if that were so-

But hearing this... it's almost as bad as if it were that.

"I... I love Levi! I don't ever want to be apart from him! Please... big brother, try to get along with him..."

Eren's anger a moment ago felt like it was filling the entire room, the whole house, flickering and consuming like it'd been setting all afire. But like the wind had swept it away, the remaining embers leave no warmth and only a sad and desolate cold remains as Eren looks very alone in the kitchen. The tea cup saucer he'd been drying, still in his hands.

Zeke rises and takes it out from his hands, with the towel. Setting it all aside, he folds Eren into a tight hug.

"I'm sorry Eren," he says, not sorry that he hates Levi so much, but sorry that he's made Eren make such a face. Eren buries his face into Zeke's chest. His hands resting against it. Letting Zeke hold him. All he wanted was for his brother and his boyfriend to get along. It is a normal, reasonable desire. It is the third choice that Levi spoke of, that would protect Eren the most.

Zeke can't stand that what he wants is also what that man wants.

Eren wants them to get along because he wants to stay with Levi, but if Zeke really pushed it. Really expressed how much he didn't want Eren to be with him, or any man or woman for that matter. Would Eren abide? Would he catch on? If Zeke pushed his hand like this, wouldn't Levi push his as well? Those other choices they didn't pick, they'd become valid in Levi's eyes wouldn't they? If Zeke-

Zeke strokes Eren's hair. He kisses his brow. Shuddering when Eren leans towards him, wanting his big brother to hold him closer, reassure him like he always has, since they were children.

Zeke swallows. Wondering if Eren can hear his heart beat, thumping harder, faster the longer Eren stays in his arms. His sadden sighs brushing against Zeke's throat. Eren wanting to be comforted. Zeke wants to comfort Eren.

He kisses Eren's ear, lowering his head to kiss Eren's neck.

It's warm.

He keeps his lips there, letting them hover, glancingly touch-

He can feel Eren's pulse.

Eren smells so good.

Eren pushes him away.

Laughing.

"Y-your beard tickles! Stop!"

As Eren's laughter dies down, he looks to Zeke. His face hopeful, worried.

"You will try won't you?"

When Zeke doesn't reply, not wanting to make a promise he can't keep, Eren swallows shakily and leaves his arms. Heading for the shower.

Zeke makes coffee.

He prepares a cup for Eren, full of sugar and cream once Eren emerges from the shower. Eren's eyes puffy and red.

\--

Zeke tries despite his previous callousness.

At first anyway.

It begins to eat at him, wear him away. Those hours he no longer shares with Eren, stolen away from him. Eren's steadily growing frustration and disappointment with him when the few occasions he invites Levi over for dinner they both regard the other coldly, underhandedly aggressive. They can't get along, and there's some satisfaction that Zeke has overheard Eren get after Levi about his behavior as well. 

It's impossible and as the days, weeks, months pass Eren invites Levi over less, but instead goes out more to his place.

Deflating all that previous satisfaction Zeke had felt. Eren not bothering to tell him every time now where he's going, what he's doing. Just that he'd be out, with Levi. Sometimes going to school from there. Zeke unable to say anything, do anything, knowing it'll only make Eren more disappointed in him... or cause Levi to deal his hand.

It's frustrating.

It's lonely.

The spot in the case where Eren used to put his creative confectionaries every Thursday, sporadically filled whenever should he even be home. Usually empty with each passing of season, sometimes Zeke fills it with overstock of simple bread that he finds he's robotically making. The bread he doesn't get to make with Eren, eat with Eren, tastes like nothing. The customers don't complain and it still sells, but the days Eren is home he feels there's more customers. The bread tastes much better those days too.

When Eren isn't home, Zeke skips meals finding them tasteless. He's not much an appetite. He's lost some weight because of this and it shows, as finally Eren comes home for once in what felt like had been too long despite that'd it'd been the now usual few or so days.

Eren's "I'm home!" the sweetest music to Zeke's ears. Zeke had been sitting at the table looking at the mail he'd not bothered to sort for days. Not hungry today either. After he'd closed the shop he'd been sitting here for hours. Waiting. For what? Waiting. He was tired. He'd tried to move but couldn't bother.

Eren turns on the lights as he enters the kitchen, startled when he sees Zeke is sitting there at the table. The unsorted mail still unsorted.

Zeke belatedly welcomes him home, his voice hoarse from disuse.

Eren touches at Zeke's hollowed face worriedly after he's put his things away, looking over his dark circles. Eren puts his apron on and asks if he's eaten yet? Shall he make dinner then? He doesn't shoo Zeke away to the couch like he usually does but instead lets him sit at the dining room table and watch him. Wait for him. Zeke realises he'd been waiting for him.

Eren sets out apple cider for him. Zeke suddenly feeling giddy as the dining room warms from what Eren's cooking... the lingering scent of the apples for the cider, the meat pie baking in the oven and simply Eren's presence. When the meat pie is ready Eren cuts him a big, hefty slice. Eren a much smaller one for himself than Zeke would have expected, 'I'm not that hungry' he'd said. Seated across from him as he should. Zeke takes another sip of the apple cider Eren has made. Eren wondering if he should make another pie, with the remaining apples. Zeke unable to reply as he digs ravenously into the meat pie, suddenly famished. Eren is startled but relieved when Zeke eats another piece just as big. He offers a third but Zeke declines, he'll wait for the apple pie Eren had mentioned. When it's ready, Eren not bothering with a piece 'Still not hungry?' Zeke asks, Zeke eats half of the whole pie in one go.

With dinner finished Eren starts on the dishes and Zeke says he'll do the laundry (which he has been neglectful of). After gathering his clothes he goes into Eren's room. Picking up anything he can reach, resisting pressing his face to the clothes Eren had changed out of, his coat that'd been lying over his bed. Zeke can't resist anymore before he puts them in the wash. Inhaling Eren's scent from his most often worn coat, one he hasn't seen in a while almost as much as he hasn't seen Eren. The anxiety and emptiness he'd felt while Eren had been out gone as Zeke recalls the pretty sight of the back of his slim bare neck, his slightly moving shoulders as he cut those onions he love-hates, the ties of the pink apron he sometimes wore crosshatched behind him tied into a bow around his small waist and wide hips, he could hear him sniffling as he struggled not to cry, his cute Eren- Zeke wants to kiss his neck and slide his hands beneath that apron, Eren's clothes and feel him up. He wants to pull his clothes off and grab Eren's cute round ass, grope it, part the cheeks and with his cock-

"Ah! Wait! Zeke! Don't put that in!"

Eren has come from the kitchen, suds slipping off his arms as he'd hurriedly peeled off rubber gloves to rush into the laundry room.

Zeke's heart is thumping a mile a minute, shot into his throat as Eren had appeared before him right before he'd decided to unbuckle his belt. It's not much an excuse but it would make more sense as to why he's holding Eren's coat so closely.

"Don't worry," Zeke says, he reaches into the pocket nearest to him, "I'm checking the pockets."

Expecting Eren's usual couple of chocolate bars half eaten or not, round hard candies, his keys, an old grocery list, or his memo for recipe ideas- there's none of that in this pocket, which he'd notice was heavy earlier. But expecting any of that, Zeke is curious to what he pulls out instead-

It's a small white box.

Opening it-

"Wait!" Eren calls out but Zeke doesn't wait this time.

There's a ring inside.

A golden band with two small gems of green and blue intertwined, cut and meld together, like a flower.

An engagement ring.

Zeke thought he'd become sick like he typically does when thinking about that man but anger washes over him, hot and uncontrollable, he's held it back for so long- subdued it, ignored it, it's not in his nature to let it overtake him. And it sets like a stone in his heart, unbreakable and unmovable.

This year Eren is graduating high school.

"I wanted to tell you as soon as I came home, but you didn't look well..."

Eren says, expression downcast, his long eyelashes lowered, near his soft cheeks.

"So I thought I'd tell you later but," that was no longer an option.

Zeke waits.

Wanting Eren to look at him and be with him and stay with him and not say whatever it is he has to say next.

"Mr Levi has asked me to marry him, big brother."

A knife feels like it's cutting into him and rounding all the seconds he's ever taken for granted. Before that man came into their lives.

"You... accepted?" Zeke says, despite himself, it must be, why else would Eren have this ring?

"No," Eren says and for a moment Zeke's whole being is awash in hope, but then-

"Not yet. Mr Levi told me to think about it. That I should put the ring on my finger only when I'm ready... and when that time comes to come to him..."

Oh.

Zeke understands.

Eren is ready but for one thing.

He wants his big brother's approval.

Zeke closes the box, resisting the urge to chuck it into the nearby bin, knowing that won't make this all go away.

"Eren-"

"Please Zeke! I understand you don't like Mr Levi but couldn't you... do this for me? I want-"

"What do you want?" Zeke starts, his voice careful and calm, the exact opposite of what he is feeling.

Breaking.

"You want me to accept that... that... Levi can protect you as well as I have? That he loves you as much as I love you?"

Eren starts, as Zeke steps in close to him. Looking down at him. The box with the ring tight in his fist. The only indication of his anger aside the hinting note of exasperation in his voice, fading as Zeke comprehends-

"You won't marry him Eren. You can't. I'll never accept it."

Eren can't live without him either.

Despite the finality of his cruel words Zeke is happy. Eren won't marry Levi without his approval, and Zeke will never give it. Eren is the one waiting now and Zeke will let him wait for all of time. Time he should have with Eren. Time he will steal back from Levi.

Eren- is looking at him with those pretty, beseeching eyes and Zeke feels his cock grow harder. His palms and back start to sweat as Eren steps near to him his soft mouth parted as Eren looks, looks, looks up at him-

But he doesn't see.

"Why?! Mr Levi is kind to me, he really takes care of me. He... treasures me! I can feel that! Why can't you big brother?"

Zeke can, has, and despises Levi for it. For trying to take Eren's heart. For succeeding where he cannot. Can never. Venomously words are spat out, giving that away.

"...feel? Eren, do you really think that it's love between you and him? Don't let him deceive you! You may love him, but he's clearly using you for your body!"

Eren's eyes widen in shock. Zeke had been the one to point out Eren is in love with Levi. His big brother whom he trusted, relied on, was saying this. It had to be the truth. He had to believe it was. His big brother who never lies.

Zeke's head whips to the side as Eren slaps him across the face.

The strike sharp, stinging, as the tears at the edges of Eren's piercing, furious gaze is. Escapes. Another expression Zeke has not seen, directed at him. Condemning him, damning him. Eren's hand had been strong and true but it trembles in the aftermath. Never has Zeke raised a hand against him and Eren to him likewise.

"No!" Eren says, every inch of him Zeke can tell, convinced of what really is, that Levi loves him back. But hurt and rejecting that Zeke _had lied._

"Why are you being like this? It's not like you!"

The rest of Eren is trembling as he turns away from him. To the the shower where Zeke can still hear through the running, falling water Eren's sobs.

\--

Eren is seated far from him by an arm rest. His hair still a little damp. He's in his usual sleepwear of a tank top and those high riding shorts. His bare legs are brought up to his chest, his arms folded around them as he hugs them to his body, he sniffs. His eyes puffy and red from crying in the shower. 

He'd only come out and not headed straight to his room on account of the ring. He wanted to get it back from Zeke and that was the one reason he was not crying his eyes out some more in his bed right now.

Zeke won't hand it over despite Eren's demands so he is pouting on the couch, glaring at him.

Zeke leaves to the kitchen, returning to sit with a little space between him and Eren who still tries to scoot away from him. Refusing to speak or look at him so long as he doesn't return the ring? Zeke knows it's either way even if he does return it.

Zeke presses the cold miniature carton of ice cream he'd fished out of the freezer to the side of Eren's thigh, causing him to 'Ah!' in surprise. Zeke bites back a moan as he manages what he'd wanted to say. Unable to keep himself from raking his eyes over Eren's body as Eren begrudgingly unfolds to accept the carton.

"Eren, I'm sorry."

Zeke passes him the spoon, shuddering when Eren's warm fingertips brushes with his.

"Please hear me out?"

Eren looks between his pleading face to the strawberry chocolate chip ice cream, and nods, "Okay."

Removing the lid and seal, he puts them on the coffee table in front of them.

Taking a bite, he glances back to Zeke almost sheepishly, mad at himself for giving in so quick but unable to resist the ice cream and his big brother who didn't ask for much.

Eren is sweet. Zeke thinks, wanting to know it too as he watches Eren take more bites of the ice cream. Enviously watching the spoon be returned to Eren's mouth, licked at. Eren's legs draw up again on the couch. The thin fabric of his shorts riding down the rest of his thighs. His knees slightly parted. A strap of his tank top has fallen off the shoulder closest to Zeke, baring it even further.

Eren's lips still so pink, then wet as he licks at them.

"Go on then Zeke."

Zeke tries to turn away from him. Can't.

What did he want to tell Eren?

The third choice was the best that man had said.

But is it?

Zeke hates to lie, nothing good ever came from lying. He'd learnt that from his father whom he'd despised for being a liar. Earlier had been a prime example of what pain lying brings. Perhaps all this, this rift that kept growing between them, it was all because of a lie wasn't it? Eren doesn't have to know. Eren should never know. Why did he think that? Because he didn't know. He didn't think of the impossible. 

This was for the best... Levi had inferred.

Yes, it was the best for him. Leaving Eren with ignorance, shielding him from reality. Keeping the truth. Having Eren to himself.

But wasn't withholding the truth, also like lying?

The absence of truth... is a lie, there is always the truth.

Whether or not you accept it.

"Eren," Zeke says, turning to Eren, unable to not look at him. Eren glancing his way between bites.

"Eren... I want you... to believe me."

Eren's eyes are attentive on him at those words, as if he could not do anything else which was why he'd been so hurt from what Zeke had said earlier.

"Yes Zeke."

Zeke swallows, his breath shallow as he feels his heart start to race.

"Even if... Levi can take good care of you. He can't do it better than me."

He holds a hand out to touch Eren's bare shoulder, griping it. Zeke begins to draw closer to him.

"He won't ever love you more than I love you."

Eren's mouth opens, shuts, a frown on it. He speaks.

"...big brother... I can't compare the amount of love either of you have given me, but the way Mr Levi loves me and the way you love me is not the same-"

"NO!" Zeke says, more forcefully than he intended, startling Eren. Some of the ice cream on his spoon, half melted, drops, drips and slides down his skin. Onto his thigh.

More softly Zeke continues, desperation striking through him as Eren doesn't understand.

"It's the same Eren. But I'm better than him. I'll treat you better than he ever will. I love you, Eren. I love you more than he ever will!"

Eren's eyes are confused, his gaze lost. Searching him, looking, starting to see-

Eren's short gasp of surprise is swallowed by Zeke's mouth.

Eren's lips are too soft, softer than he imagined. His mouth sweet from the ice cream, a little cold. It warms up beneath his lips, his tongue as he kisses him. Tastes him. Zeke groans as he pulls Eren to him. His hands clutching over Eren's ass, his thigh. Eren's legs are splayed, open to him. There's a brief clink as the spoon Eren had been holding drops to the floor, aside the partially empty carton of ice cream that spills and rolls on the floor.

Zeke pulls away when he tastes blood.

Eren had bit him hard on the lip.

Eren's own lips wet with his spit, his blood.

Panting, a heated glare giving way to confusion after instinct bequeaths to it.

Zeke feels his cock tent up higher in his trousers.

Eren's hands are at his shoulders, trying to push him away as Zeke kisses down his body.

"W-what are you doing?! Have you gone crazy? Why are you doing this?!"

He kisses beneath Eren's chin, his throat, to his chest, licking, biting at Eren's exposed nipple as he pulls at his top. Sucking briefly, until Eren cries out sharply, painfully. His hands still at his shoulders trying to push him off, but Zeke is much stronger than him, bigger than him.

"B-big brother! Please don't do this! I love you too! But- but not like this!"

Zeke is between Eren's legs, he licks at the ice cream that'd gotten on Eren's thigh. Zeke groans as he licks it all away, kissing and sucking at Eren's fatty flesh there. He touches Eren through his shorts, feeling up his cock beneath the fabric, feeling it jump and harden under his touch.

Eren's hand folds over his, trying to tear him off him, "Stop! You're confused Zeke! You're scared! I... I'm scared too! But-!"

"Eren, didn't you say you'd believe me?"

Eren stills starkly at those words. Guilty.

Zeke sits up, climbing back up and over Eren's body. 

His voice breaking as he tries to hold back a sob but Eren sees the tears. Eren's eyes wide. His brother hadn't even cried when their parents had passed away. Eren had never seen him cry. Even during the hard times when the shop was still new, the stressful busy days when nothing seemed to be going right, when they watched those sad movies that always upset Eren- his big brother is a very strong man. Tough but kind. Gentle yet firm.

So why?

"Please believe me Eren! I want you! You're all that I want! I can't live without you!"

His tears drip hotly over Eren's face beneath him, down his chin. Eren trying to quell the panic and pain in his heart as he doesn't know what to do. He should believe in Zeke... but believing him would mean-

Eren reaches out to caress his cheek, trying to wipe away his rapidly falling tears. Zeke embraces him and Eren holds him close. Eren stroking his hair, a hand soothingly rubbing his back.

"Don't cry, don't cry," Eren says, like Zeke had said to him as a babe when he wept.

Eren is adorable.

Zeke can't help but kiss at his neck, his ear. He grinds his hard and throbbing cock against Eren's thick soft thigh. Moaning as Eren gasps, his arms weak around Zeke in that moment. He wants to fuck Eren, his adorable, sweet Eren. His tears making Eren's skin salty, slick, hot with his breath as he sucks at his neck.

Eren is pushing him away, his strength returned but incapable of moving him.

"No! No Zeke! We can't! I don't want to-"

Zeke kisses Eren quiet, Eren trying to turn his face from his. Zeke tastes blood again as Eren gasps, a few of his hot tears mixing with Zeke's as they escape his eyes. Eren startled and unwilling. Looking at Zeke fearfully. His heart slowly breaking.

Zeke swallows, pulling away.

The why he shouldn't have trying to creep in when he's already-

"You have to Eren," Zeke hears himself say, unsure of what feeling this is he's having as it fills him, encompasses him and drives him, he speaks in a tone as if it were any other night and the cards had been dealt in his favour, "You remember don't you? That you owe me a reward for winning that game against Levi right?"

He draws his hands over Eren's hips, holding him in place.

"I want you to give yourself to me."

He can feel Eren trembling beneath him. A myriad of emotions flashing over Eren's face- shock, pain, denial, despair, uncertainty. Eren doesn't want to. Zeke is his big brother and Eren is in love with Levi. It's wrong. It hurts. It's gross. It shouldn't be like this.

Even so.

Eren obediently rises to hesitantly, shyly- kiss him.

Not on the cheek.

But over his mouth.

Zeke cups Eren's cheek. His touch drawing to fist in Eren's pretty brown hair, through it to the back of his neck. Eren's tongue against his. It feels good. Eren's mouth is still so sweet, warm.

Zeke pulls down Eren's shorts.

Kissing down his body more.

He kisses and licks at his thighs, leaving a trial of marks with his mouth like he'd already left likewise around Eren's neck. He cups Eren's round ass and squeezes it as he remembers Levi doing. Eren squirms in his touch but doesn't try to move away, even as Zeke spreads the cheeks as he's always wanted. Zeke gropes Eren's ass as he looks at his tight little hole. Zeke kisses Eren's inner thigh, inhaling deeply before moving down to lick at Eren's asshole. Eren jumping, startled. Zeke feels Eren's hands clutch in his hair and pull at it meagerly, like a kitten may claw at you. Zeke licks round the puckered top, sticking the tip of his tongue in, further. Eating Eren out as he continues to grope his ass.

He moves a hand from one cheek to fist around Eren's reluctantly rising cock, it's smaller and lighter in colour than Zeke's which is dark, long. He pumps it, feeling Eren's hands relinquish his hair to cup over his hand. Wanting to get it off but unable to, not allowed to. Eren is gasping and murmuring, swallowing down his pleas of opposition to all that Zeke is doing.

Even with his complaints his eyelashes are fluttering and his face is flushed, from Zeke touching him and tasting him. Zeke climbs back over his body and kisses him forcefully, hard, Eren's brow furrowed and flinching as he tastes himself on Zeke's tongue.

Zeke places a hand behind Eren's back to urge Eren to sit up with him. Zeke pulls Eren's tank top from over his head. Chuckling when Eren tries to cover his chest, as if it'd be embarrassing for Zeke to see what he's already seen, after what he's already done. Zeke pulls Eren's arms away and bends over to kiss at his neck, covered in lovebites. Zeke inhales deeply Eren's scent. Wanting to be submerged in it, wanting to submerge Eren in his. He sinks lower, kisses and licks at the nipple he'd had in his mouth before, his hand moving to pinch and squeeze at the one he's yet to suck at. Eren is trying to push his head away again, telling him to be more gentle about it. Zeke groans. Moving his mouth back over Eren's who tries to turn his head away. Startled. When Zeke chides him, Eren apologises and kisses him on the lips. Gentle little pecks until Zeke can't take it anymore and their tongues are licking at the other, Zeke sucking on Eren until he's short of breath. Eren hiding his face against his chest. His voice small.

"Let's stop Zeke, surely this is enough."

Zeke stands up from the couch and scoops Eren up into his arms, carrying him bridal style.

"Not yet, I haven't had enough of you."

Zeke carries Eren to his room.

He lies him down on his bed. Eren frowning and looking away when Zeke starts to take his clothes off, closing his eyes but forced to open them as Zeke joins him in the bed. He takes Eren's hand and forces him to touch him. Eren looks like he might start crying.

Zeke strokes his cheek.

"I want you to suck it," he tells him. Eren looking at him in disbelief before he swallows, looking at Zeke's fingers over his fingers which is pumping Zeke's long and hard cock. Eren rolls over onto his stomach and leans in. He takes Zeke into his mouth. First, merely a little of the tip, his warm soft tongue licking at it, around it as he sucks weakly. More of Zeke swallowed down as his hand slips from Eren to comb and grip through Eren's hair. Urging Eren to take him deeper, and for him to suck harder. It's not until Eren is starting to choke that Zeke pulls Eren's mouth from his cock. Saliva dripping over Eren's lips, down his chest, mixed with the bit of precum that Zeke couldn't help escape. Zeke wants to cum. Inside Eren's mouth, over his face. Another time. Tonight, where he really wants to cum- Eren's swollen sticky chest is still heaving for breath even as Zeke folds Eren into his arms and pushes him down into the mattress. Eren's head against his pillows, his brown hair spilling across it a little. Looking good against it, like Eren looks good beneath him.

It's right, Zeke thinks as he kisses Eren more, his cheek, his neck.

This is how it should have been, should always be.

Even if it's only for one night, this one night will be Zeke's forever.

Zeke slicks his fingers up with lube, remembering how many fingers Levi had pushed into Eren, all at once and enters the same. Eren crying out, his hands snapping back to grab and fist into the pillow behind his head as Zeke works his fingers in and out of Eren. Eren gasping as he tries to keep his hips down, unwilling for them to rise for Zeke's coveting touch. It's not until Eren's hole is slick and his parted mouth is gaping open from all his gasps that Zeke pulls at Eren's wrist and pours the lube over his fingers. He has Eren pump and slick up his cock. Eren slow and hesitant, insanely gentle. Zeke didn't think he could get any harder but he does. Eren tells him they don't have to. He loves Zeke so they don't need to do this. They shouldn't. Zeke tells Eren he loves him so they do have to. They must. They should.

Eren's arms are around him awkwardly, before laying atop the mattress as Zeke spreads Eren's legs. Eren stills completely beneath him, face, gaze, expression turned from him as he looks about the room, at the ceiling as if there's a way out. Eren hoping at any second Zeke will change his mind.

Zeke won't change.

He's always been like this.

Deep down, Eren knows.

Even if he never knew this is what it was.

Eren closes his eyes as Zeke begins to enter him. Eren determined to lie there and bear it, discovers he's unable to as he feels Zeke's cock penetrate him, fill him. Dread overcoming all his senses except for the feeling of his brother fucking him.

"No! No! _No! No big brother!_ I don't want to, I don't want to- Ah! _Ah!_ "

Eren's voice cracks.

Eren's fists are beating at his shoulders trying to push him away and when he can't he feels Eren's tears there, sliding from his neck where Eren has buried his face, sobbing in frustration, terror as Zeke pushes his cock deeper inside him. Zeke shuddering as Eren surrounds him, tight and hot, clenching, swallowing him up. Zeke moans, groaning as he pulls Eren's hips to his. Enjoying his heat, his smooth skin, his gasps and hiccupping sobs as Zeke can't help himself and starts to move faster, harder. Realising the further he gets inside Eren, the longer he holds him in his arms it's impossible. One night won't be enough, a thousand nights wouldn't be enough. Pulling his cock back to harshly delve it back into Eren. Zeke thinks about how he can't live without Eren. He rather die than be without him.

Eren tries to push him away and pull himself away but unable, beneath him, with Zeke inside him. Zeke's weight atop him. Zeke unwilling to let go of him. Eren weaker than him, slight, a little brother truly. Eren belongs with him. He can't leave him.

Eren bites at Zeke's neck, his shoulder, trying to urge Zeke to get out of him but it only incites Zeke to fuck him harder. His touch bruising around Eren's wide hips, his slim waist. Zeke bites him back, trying to find a place on Eren's neck that wasn't already red or dark from his mouth. Eren is telling him no up until Zeke finds it, trying to get into that same angle he'd seen before when that man-

Eren's voice halts.

His words a cry as it pitches.

Startled, pleasured.

Zeke actually reaches the spot easier than Levi could, with his longer member. He hits at that spot continuously until his stubborn Eren, unrelenting, and not easy to please- can't resist him any longer as he hits that sweet spot inside him that causes his toes to curl, even his breath to stutter. Eren's face flushed an even more beautiful colour than it'd ever been before as it feels good- it must with how Eren's hips are moving, coaxing him, welcoming him. Eren is adorable. Telling him no, crying so hard when his body says yes, wants him, yearns for him, needs him.

"How is it Eren? Good right? Better than that man right? I love you Eren. You're so beautiful Eren. Ah, Eren, _Eren_ , you're mine Eren. You're so cute."

Eren is so cute.

Zeke can tell Eren wants to deny it, wants to deny him and tell him no some more. Eren doesn't want to believe him but can't help to. Can't help his body moving with his, accepting his cock the more Zeke rocks into him. Devours him. The beast has the beauty. Zeke kisses Eren on the cheek, then his mouth. His tongue delving inside it as he penetrates Eren some more. Eren's perk nipples rubbing against his chest. Eren struggles for breath, panting from their kiss. His moans growing louder as Zeke grabs his ass, finally pushing his cock in to the hilt, Eren's head pushing back, his face upturned as he cries out repeatedly. Brokenly. No longer as stubborn as he was before they'd began.

His eyes shut tight, his long eyelashes moist and against his flushed cheeks. Zeke bends over to kiss him awake, to kiss him to get him to look at him as he fucks him but Eren looks at him anyway, his moist gaze begging, pleading for him to stop, for what Zeke doesn't want to do. 

Zeke's heart racing, pounding, a beat that's driving him mad as Eren leans towards him to give him a kiss without prompting.

When he feels Eren's soft pink lips on his cheek.

Zeke cums.

He continues to as Eren flinches and cums as well. A small spurt over his belly, dripping as Zeke still spills himself inside him, unable to stop it seems. Getting it all over Eren's thighs as he pulls out, on his belly, mixing with Eren's slight, reluctant ejaculation.

Eren is exhausted, out of breath, his body still and limp. Sweat sliding over his skin quicker than the cum that sticks to him. Zeke doesn't bother cleaning them up. He grabs at another blanket nearby and pulls it over them. He lies down besides Eren and holds him. Eren turning in his arms with the last of his strength. His back facing him. Zeke holds him to him. Not minding that Eren do as he pleases since Zeke does as he wants. Zeke kisses Eren's neck as he reaches to touch at their cum that's still splattered all over Eren's belly. He rests his flaccid, spent cock between the cheeks of Eren's cute round ass. He kisses his cheek, his lips moving to press them to his hair, he inhales Eren's scent. Groaning. Content.

Eren asleep and unable to resist when Zeke turns him back around.

Zeke's kiss does not rouse him.

Zeke closes his eyes and tries to join Eren in his dreams.

\--

Zeke returns the white box with the ring but Eren is disinterested in it.

It still sits on the nightstand, gathering dust. Eren hadn't so much as looked at it when Zeke had put it there, telling him he could take it back.

Eren doesn't say much nowadays but he never leaves Zeke's side to Zeke's extreme pleasure.

Mainly Eren sleeps, hard to rouse even more than usual but Zeke knows a way to eventually pull Eren from slumber. His favourite means. Especially to his delight when Eren takes to sleeping in his bed. Eren is silent and listless in the day if he isn't asleep, as well as the evenings he does wake to. Quiet even as Zeke enters him and has him some more, incapable of resisting Eren any longer with him so lovely in his arms every night, beautiful even like this. The only sounds Eren makes are when Zeke fucks him too roughly, or kisses him too hard unable then to hold back his gasps, his moans, his overwhelmed and pleasured cries. Eren is adorable. All his.

Eren doesn't leave the house.

Zeke forges doctor's notes, knowing their look well from their father's profession, his parent's hopes, his mother's end. The school accepts them and Eren is excused on account of illness. Delicate health.

Every so often Zeke opens up the shop. Wanting to bake bread for Eren who won't eat without his prompting. Zeke looking over Eren's naked body, feeling his limbs and torso, noticing right away when Eren has lost too much weight. Eren seldom eats unless Zeke has him on his lap like when they were children, and Zeke has to feed him by the spoonful. Zeke doesn't mind, Eren had come home and fed him too didn't he? Weren't meals better when they are together?

Zeke hates running errands on his own.

He made the mistake of leaving Eren in the bath by himself.

Without him Eren doesn't know what do to.

Zeke had been scared when he came home.

Eren had tried to drown himself, but luckily Zeke knew CPR.

Eren had been fine but he'd been trembling and cold in Zeke's arms.

Zeke made sure to warm up Eren especially that night, not letting him rest. Zeke came many times into him before morning arrived.

Another day Zeke had run out of a certain ingredient for dinner (in Eren's case, breakfast) so he left for the store. Eren had been asleep when he left so Zeke had left out all the utensils he'd been using.

It'd been fortunate he came home just as Eren had started to cut his wrist with the knife he knows better now to not leave out. Eren didn't lose too much blood and Zeke stitched and bandaged him up carefully. Using the kit from their father's office that still kept quite a few medical supplies. Kissing his hands, his wrists, his cheek and mouth, before the rest of his body. Zeke fucked Eren on the floor that night, to remind him he shouldn't do something scary like that.

Eren is so beautiful.

It'd felt really good, a night he'd left the laundry by Eren who'd been sitting on the floor before the TV. Watching it but not seeing it. Eren slowly, out of habit had started to fold the clothes. Not well or coordinated like he used to. Zeke had the intention of helping him but once he had Eren in his arms and his hands over his Zeke couldn't help but move Eren's clothes off him and mount him in the living room. Eren had looked so cute clutching at Zeke's shirt he'd been needing help to fold as Zeke pounded into him. Eren gasping, crying. Zeke had cummed quickly.

Eren can't live without him.

It's exactly as Zeke wanted.

Even if at times he wants more.

He misses Eren's eyes on him.

His smile, his warm hands, his voice.

Eren doesn't speak.

Refuses? Incapable? 

Eren really is sick.

But Zeke hopes with his care Eren will be able to find his voice again one day.

\--

When that day will come, Zeke had not been expecting it.

He'd slept deeply, holding Eren close to him. He'd counted every mark he'd left on Eren's body before drifting off into sleep, exhausted too from how long their lovemaking had been. Earlier Eren had rose on his own to Zeke's surprise, furthering it as it'd barely become evening. Zeke had asked him what was wrong, about to wake him himself only to see Eren was already awake, barring Zeke's way from entering their room. Eren merely standing in the doorway looking up at him almost expectantly. So Zeke had kissed him, and met no resistance. Eren even had leant into him, sighing. Looking at him as he placed him back on the bed, removed his clothes, his warm golden eyes as pretty as Zeke remembers when they looked into his. Eren embracing him back as he'd entered him, Eren's body especially responsive, his cries more vocal. It'd felt amazing. Zeke's happiness on hold, resuming, after his stark panic on finding himself alone in bed hours later leads him out into the warm kitchen where he sees Eren has managed to put clothes on his own, even his apron... as he cooks...

Even though they'd recently woken up, perhaps given the time of night Eren has decided to make dinner instead of breakfast. Zeke hugs Eren from behind, looking over his shoulder at the creamy chicken stew he's making. Kissing the side of Eren's slim neck, Eren's hair tickling him. It'd grown out, longer these past months. Zeke had not bothered to cut it for Eren either. Liking the way it looks against his pillow, the floor, the couch, his chest. Tickling. Enjoying how it feels in his fingers when he pulls Eren towards him to kiss him, or has him on his knees in the laundry room sucking him off. It rests briefly at his collarbone, along his neck. Silky, soft and pretty. It suits Eren. Zeke doesn't mind that he can't see the back of Eren's neck anymore because of it, since he can move the locks aside and look at and kiss Eren's neck anytime he wants.

He's kissing it now, having done just that as he holds Eren's wide hips in his hands, he presses his cock to Eren's ass, feeling its softness even through the fabric of their clothes. Zeke watches as Eren stirs the stew, setting the spoon aside so both his hands are free to fold over Zeke's.

Zeke moves his touch with Eren's, up Eren's flimsy tank top, he feels Eren's slim waist, his perk nipples hardening under his touch as Eren's hands on his do nothing to resist him. Eren gasping and panting as Zeke grinds his cock against him. Zeke considers fucking him against the countertop when-

"Zeke!" Eren cries out sweetly, and for a moment Zeke is dizzy, overwhelmed. His arousal spiking, painful, driven heat as Eren says his name after so long.

"Please just wait a little longer for dinner! _Ah!_ Ah! Stupid Zeke!"

Eren pushes his hands off him, turning around to pout at him, almost scolding.

Zeke relents and sits at the dining table to wait until the food is done. He looks down Eren's top, seeing his nipples are still swollen from his touch, as Eren leans over to set down his cup of coffee. Zeke sips it as he waits, watching Eren's swaying hips and his ass as he moves about the kitchen, finishing.

Eren brings over a bowl of stew for him, setting down the steaming hot meal before him carefully. Zeke euphoric between Eren cooking a meal for him, speaking, and now even smiling as Zeke pinches himself to determine he's not dreaming.

Eren laughs, reaching a hand to stroke his cheek, his fingers pressing, feeling the coarse hair of his beard.

"You're hungry aren't you?"

Eren climbs onto his lap, sitting there sideways. Zeke sucks in a breath tightly as he feels Eren's soft weight over his growingly straining erection.

Eren leans forward to kiss him on the cheek.

Eren's hand on his chest.

Eren begins to feed him, spooning every bite into his mouth, kissing him on the cheek every other as a reward. Soon the bowl is empty. Eren asking if he wants seconds? Zeke asks if Eren will let him feed him too, since Eren had brought out the one serving...

Eren laughs more, smiles more and every bit of Zeke is filled with hungered longing, if Eren doesn't keep looking at him he really will go insane.

Eren moves off his lap to stand in front of him.

"I'm hungry, but not for that."

Eren peels off his tank top, his thin shorts. Completely naked as he gets back onto Zeke's lap, straddling him as he reaches between them to unbutton and unzip Zeke's trousers, pulling out his long and very hard cock.

Eren glances up at him, through his long eyelashes lowered to his soft cheeks. Zeke shudders as he cups a cheek, his thumb stroking the skin, the flesh. Eren's pink lips parted and moist as he licks them when he begins to stroke and pump Zeke's cock, carefully, gently. His brow furrowed in concentration. Zeke watches in amazement as Eren rises up on his knees, and begins to direct Zeke's cock inside him on his own. Zeke moaning when he feels that Eren has slicked himself up inside for him, before he woke, his hole ready for him even as he told him to wait for dinner.

Eren steadily sits on his cock, inching him inside him slowly, further, sensually- his mouth open as he moans loudly, wantonly. His soft thighs clamp around Zeke's hips as he brings their bodies closer. Eren's warm hands are resting against his chest as Eren pushes his nipples there as well, rubbing them, his body, his belly to Zeke's as his mouth gasps in front of Zeke's mouth. Eren starts to move his hips, rolling them up forward, down so he's fucking himself on Zeke's cock.

Zeke's arms around Eren slide to his moving hips. Zeke watches as his cock disappears deeper inside Eren with every one of his thrusts, Zeke thrusting as well, grunting, tears springing to his eyes in happiness. Yes, that's what that feeling had been when he'd told Eren he has to. He must. Like this feeling now as Eren touches him, and has him. Willingly, wanting, on his own. Honestly. Truthfully. This is how they should be. Eren is his. Has always been-

Eren kisses his tears away and strokes his face as he delves him deeper inside his body. Zeke unable to hold back his cry of pure joy as Eren leans forward to kiss him over his mouth, his lips soft and inviting, his tongue moving to touch Zeke's to coax him to touch him more, taste him more.

Zeke's hands move to Eren's ass groping it and squeezing it as he fills him. Zeke's chair thudding, knocking into the wood floor beneath them, making indents as they fuck harder.

Eren's hands move over his shoulders, his arms above them as Eren cradles Zeke's head in his touch, his brow to his brow as Zeke pushes his hips up to Eren pushing his hips down to bring him in to the hilt. Eren's face flushed, overcome in pleasure as he moans from having Zeke fill him like this.

"Zeke! Zeke!" Eren calls and Zeke cums thickly, hotly, groaning, gasping, Eren adorable, and sweet. His wonderful Eren, gentle, kind, _beautiful_ -

Eren is kissing him.

Zeke can feel the warmth of his tears over his cheek, dampening his beard as Eren hugs him tight. His fingers in his hair, stroking the back of his head.

Eren kissing his cheek, again, more, countless as if to make up for every time he hasn't kissed him, can't-

"I love you, big brother."

Zeke feels dizzy, weak with each of Eren's touches, his kisses.

Eren kisses him on the lips, his smile no longer, but at the very least Eren looks at him, with those stricken sad eyes Zeke recalls as Eren lay beneath him heartbroken, their first night.

But it's Eren who says, a hand holding his cheek as he feels his head slump, his body slide-

"Please forgive me."

The night is dark, and so is his vision as he blacks out.

\--

Zeke is cold and stiff as he gets up off the floor.

His cock is out and wet from having been inside Eren. He was not out long but he was out long enough. He rises. The chair overturn from when he fell over as the sedatives Eren had put in the stew he'd eaten took effect.

Zeke checks their room, sees his bed is empty.

The nightstand where the box with the ring had been, the box remains. It's open. And empty.

Zeke goes into Eren's room next and sees it's in disarray.

Clothes everywhere, drawers open and torn through. Eren had left all his photos. Some of his bags are gone. Essentials. Zeke leans over Eren's bed and jacks off. Letting his cum stain over Eren's sheets, his clothes. Zeke sniffs and tucks his cock away, zipping and buttoning up his trousers. He moves out of Eren's room to the kitchen. Looking at the leftover stew that had allowed Eren time to escape. He throws it out and puts the dirty pot in the sink.

Eren...

Had lied to him.

Deceived him.

He'd pretended to such an extent, all so he could return back to that man.

Zeke can't help but blame himself.

He's always spoilt Eren, and never disciplined him.

But he's willing to rectify that because Eren needs to learn.

Even if he has to be extreme and harsh, he will make Eren understand.

Zeke changes his clothes, but doesn't bother with a shower, not wanting to wash Eren's scent off of him, how it'd felt to be inside him. Zeke shudders, he can't wait to see Eren again.

There's only one thing he has to do now that it's come to this.

Eren won't return to him so long as that man keeps getting in their way.

Zeke thinks about how there's an axe in the backyard, for fire wood they use in one of the ovens. 

It won't be easy and Eren may come to hate him until he learns his lesson, but Zeke is going to have to do it.

In order for Eren to only see him, Zeke has to kill Levi.

He's about to put his shoes on and head out when the door unlocks.

He hears the click of it, as the key fits and the door opens, closes.

He'd not heard any other noise, neither steps in the stairwell or the rattle of the retrieval of keys from a pocket.

There's only one key needed for that entrance and it is the only one Levi had carried.

Zeke doesn't bother with his shoes any longer. He sits up from the couch, takes a few steps as Levi walks forward to him without pause.

"You've saved me a lot of trouble coming here," Zeke starts to say almost pleasantly, Levi stopping in front of him, a few steps between them, "Otherwise-"

Zeke doesn't get to finish what he was saying as Levi's fist slams into his face. Breaking his nose.

Zeke doesn't have time to react as pain shoots through his face, the crack of bones breaking echoing, replaying in his mind and continuing as he hears some of his ribs snap as Levi kicks him in the side. Over and over and over. As Zeke hunches over from the blows, a kick to his crotch makes him kneel, keel, falling onto the floor as repeatedly Levi kicks his already broken ribs, breaking more. Strikes to his head. Zeke trying to cover it as blood comes up in his mouth. He's heaving, spitting it out as Levi stops for a moment. Watching Zeke on the floor. As Zeke slowly, rolls over onto his knees. Blood smeared across his face, from his nose, his mouth, it dribbles down with his spit and bile. Zeke spits it out, gasping. Trying to speak but Levi won't let him, kicking him up in the gut so he hacks up the blood that'd been steadily coming up, the contents of his stomach. Levi slams his foot down onto the back of his head, making his face rub into what he'd just coughed up.

Zeke pants, heaving. Crying out when Levi slams his other foot over his hand, breaking fingers.

"I warned you didn't I?" Levi says, his neutral unreadable expression of before completely done away the more violent he gets, the more blood is spilt.

Zeke cries out again as Levi kicks him, turning him over, and smashes one of his ankles with another stomp. Everything hurts but for some reason that hurts the most, atop of everything? Levi hovers over him, pinning him down with his knees. He picks Zeke's head up by a patch of his hair, his fist drawn back and over and over and over all over, Levi punches him. He's missing a few teeth. Zeke sees them roll over onto the floor as he struggles for breath between the pain that makes him feel he'll black out again and the blood and spit that's dripping down his face.

Levi stands up and lets Zeke's head drop to the floor heavily.

He rolls a shoulder, tired? Warming up? 

Eyeing the other ankle.

Levi goes into the kitchen.

Zeke hears running water.

Levi is washing Zeke's blood off his hands.

He even uses a towel to turn off the tap. Zeke chokes and spits some more from his hunched position on the floor as he curls into himself in case Levi comes back to kick him but that defensive position is painful too from all the broken bones in his body.

He manages to crawl near the table when Levi walks over to him slowly, steps silent.

"You do understand what's going to happen next _big brother?_ " Levi says, foully, spitting out the last words. Zeke really is shit in his eyes.

Zeke manages "I do," as he manages to rise too quick, past Levi's expectations of his movement given the amount of pain he's in and the bones that are broken. Zeke picks up his chair and smashes it into Levi. Into his head causing him to swear and try to roll over. Zeke tackles him and slams him to the ground, beating his head again, again to the hard surface of the floor before Levi kicks him off him. Blood slides down his temple. His clothes disheveled. Zeke is amused to see the always collected and tidy Levi as so.

Zeke rolls, stumbles into the kitchen, hobbling enough up to grab at the knife left on the counter by Eren. When Levi approaches him Zeke stabs the knife into one of his legs. Levi cursing him slams the foot of his unwounded leg into Zeke's face, pinning his head to the cabinet door before it smashes through it.

Levi steps back, cautiously. Looking at the knife, how deep it had cut, not enough. He pulls it out. 

As he does so Zeke uses the counter to pull himself up to his feet, leaning his weight on his good leg. He glances back at the counter for what else he can use.

Levi snaps the knife into a backhanded grip, manages one step before Zeke grabs the large dirty pot in the sink and smashes that into Levi's head, then again, again causing Levi to fall over, the knife Zeke manages to pry from his fingers. Zeke stabs him multiple times. Panicked, frenzied. Blood blossoming up on Levi's stomach and chest as he stills.

Zeke is gripping the bloodied knife as he hobbles up, standing, looking down on Levi's motionless and blood covered figure. His blood, Levi's blood, it's everywhere on the floor, the walls, the furniture. Zeke stumbles. Opening the hatch to the staircase that unfolds to the backroom of his and Eren's bakery below.

He'll get the axe from the backyard and hack up Levi's body. What he'll do with the pieces, he can bury them or burn them. He hasn't decided. The staircase hits the bottom. And Zeke sets the knife down on the floor as he sighs in relief. With Levi dead Eren will be all his again.

Zeke turns to look at Levi's prone body, thinking he'll have to toss him down the stairs given his injuries and Levi's weight but there's only blood there and trailing, curving to Levi standing behind him. Swaying and dripping, soaked in red, black, crimson. Zeke barely sees the bottom of Levi's shoe before it slams into his face, causing him to fall down the very steps he'd been imagining throwing Levi's body down.

How he's still conscious or alive as he makes it to the bottom, tears escaping his eyes as the agony he's in seems overbearing, along with the thought of the impossible.

How is Levi still moving?

How is he still alive?

Zeke had stabbed him over and over and there was so much blood.

He shouldn't be alive.

He shouldn't be here.

He shouldn't be walking down these steps towards him!

Zeke grits his teeth, glaring loathsomely at him, trying to tamper down the panic that rises in him, his fear, that fear, ever present, he should have known, that, it, this- why, why, why- but it grips him with every creak and crack and pop of his mangled body, also covered in blood.

That darkness he'd slipped into, fallen into, time and time again whenever Levi appeared to take his Eren away, it no longer surrounds him or pulls him down into it.

There is no need.

It is here.

"Monster!" Zeke spits out, horrified, anguished as Levi stands over him, passing that last step.

Looking down at him in absolute disgust. Revulsion. Hatred.

Levi's voice, furious, devoid of temperature yet peaking in it. The hottest flame is the coldest.

" _I told you not to lay a hand on Eren._ "

Levi’s glare cuts into him, Zeke allows himself to be cut, torn up as he replies. Staring back. Uncaring, knowing he's about to die.

"I did more than lay a hand on him."

Zeke watches, and can't help from smiling as Levi's eyes widen angrily, pained as Zeke continues to speak.

"I think I fucked him even more times than you ever did. Eren is so cute isn't he? He cried every time I made him cum."

Zeke watches as Levi stills, imagines it.

"He tastes as sweet as he sounds too."

Zeke screams as Levi enraged, viciousness every inch of him- heavily pounds his foot down onto Zeke's crotch, smashing his balls. Up. Down. Levi grinds his merciless step onto his dick. Zeke howls in agony. Choking, crying harder. Levi snarling.

"You damn beast! _I'm gunna fucking kill you!_ "

Levi grabs his hair again and slams his head into the shelf behind him.

A different darkness encircles him.

\--

It is another sort of darkness that he wakes up to. It vanishing as a bright light is shined over his head. Causing him to blink, a searing white pain shooting through his brain from his focusing vision. He's in the storage room. Strapped down to a chair. Stripped of his clothing, but some of his wounds are bandaged up. There's a dull throbbing of his right hand as he sees a bandaged stump in its place. Zeke begins to hyperventilate, a scream rising in his throat but the sound is hollowed and silenced as he sees Levi with his mouth and nose covered by a mask, an apron over his change of clothes. No longer a bloody suit but a simple white t-shirt and black slacks. Gloves over his hand as he prepares a tool Zeke doesn't recognise from a tray of instruments. Some similar to a doctor's.

The panic resumes, as Levi turns to him.

"Good. You're awake. I was wondering if you were going to miss out on all of this."

As it rises Zeke finds himself wondering from how comfortable, familiarly Levi handles these foreign tools, what does Levi do? He never bothered to find out, resentful that it'd probably meant he was making a lot of money. Enough to show off and buy Eren's affection. It didn't matter to Zeke. Because the only thing that had mattered was he was stealing Eren away. He was bad. Evil. A monster.

But Zeke can't help himself from asking as he watches Levi sharpen the blade of a scalpel that's too large to be a surgeon's tool.

"...you... what is it you do... for a living?"

Levi's voice is a little muffled from behind the mask, "Don't worry. I can take good care of Eren from what I do." 

Zeke grits his teeth, grinding them.

Seeing that reply doesn't satisfy Zeke but Zeke's reaction has satisfied Levi well enough he continues dryly. Uncaring.

"Oh. If that's not what you're worried about. I work for the government... more or less."

Levi finishes sharpening the blade.

"What exactly I do... well I'd say it doesn't really concern you does it? But it can't be helped now. You can have a taste of it yourself."

Levi gags him.

Levi removes fingers from his left hand, given he's already cut off the right. He lets him keep his thumb and his pinky, but the rest are cut off. Slowly. Joint by joint. 

He cuts off some of his toes in the same manner, peeling off the nails first.

Zeke passes out after Levi castrates him. Thinking he'll die from the blood loss, the next time he wakes he's hooked up to an IV. Getting both blood and fluids in this manner.

Zeke thinks Levi may have gotten it from his and Eren's father's old medical supplies but it might be his own. The blood-

"I had my colleague snoop on your medical files and your blood type is the same as Eren's. It's less than you deserve but I got his donation for you."

Zeke is still gagged and can't speak.

"Don't be too happy, he doesn't know who it was for. He's such a good boy."

Zeke feels anger boil in him over the fear. Of course Levi wasn't going to tell Eren anything. Of course he wasn't going to tell him he'd been torturing his older brother in the storeroom of their bakery for days.

Levi always wants to appear good in Eren's eyes, even if it's not the truth.

A liar.

Zeke hates him so much.

"Oi oi, don't be straining yourself, " Levi says seeing Zeke glaring at him. Seething.

"You need to save your strength for what's coming next."

For days Levi puts Zeke through hell.

Zeke loses all sense of time. Not knowing if it's night or day, he's stuck in the storeroom the entire while as Levi cuts into him, slices into him, takes from him. Zeke begins to not care. The pain nothing. What he's missing... is Eren. Levi has already taken from him Eren. He can take everything else. It doesn't matter to Zeke.

Levi is going to take his life too isn't he?

Zeke doesn't give a shit if he takes it today, tomorrow, next week.

He thought.

The last time he sees Levi in that mask, the long white apron like it's from a butcher.

Levi takes one last thing.

He pries Zeke's mouth open, keeping it open with metal clamps and claws.

He cuts out jaggedly, painfully and more slowly than anything else.

Zeke's tongue.

He throws it on Zeke's lap as Zeke's mouth overflows with blood. Zeke swallowing, choking on his own blood as he passes out. The light burning, before it is dark all over once more.

\--

The next time he wakes.

Most of his wounds are bandaged, but the IV and blood are gone. So are the tray of tools. The lights and the straps. He stumbles and falls out of the chair he's no longer tied down to.

The storage room is unlocked.

He ends up falling. His ankle still broken, his bones not healing right, everything hurts. A few of his stitches ripping and the old cuts bleeding anew as he struggles to the pulled down staircase. It takes an hour? Two? To get up it but he manages. Strength seems to return to him when he's back home but it leaves him as he looks about the place. Everything has been cleaned up. The blood on the floor, the walls, the furniture. The kitchen tidied up, the dishes done and put away. He leans against a wall to make it to Eren's room. It's been put into order as well. Perhaps too much given Eren usually had some of his things out. More stuff has been taken from the room. All the clothes are gone. The bed is made with unfamiliar sheets. The photos are turned over. None of Eren's warmth remains. Zeke makes his way into the kitchen. He finds that bottle of whiskey his father had told him he was hiding and saving for the day either he or Eren got married. It's a struggle but he manages to uncap it. Getting a lot of it over his chest as he drinks it from the bottle, holding it between his wrists.

He leaves it wet on the counter as he looks to the phone.

He should go to hospital.

He should call the police but they may not be able to do anything.

Zeke recalling what Levi had said to him, how he works for the government... more or less.

Zeke looks over the kitchen table, the mail he never sorted in an organised pile except for one piece.

His glasses are folded neatly aside it.

A white envelope without postage or address, so it must have been left here by that man.

Zeke's name is written in gold.

Zeke recognises the handwriting as Eren's.

Zeke sits in Eren's seat, the remaining chair. The other smashed and thrown out.

Desperately he struggles to open the envelope with his two fingers, holding it down with his stump.

He gets the envelope open, blood running cold and still when he sees the contents.

A wedding invitation for a date that's already passed. Behind it is a picture of Levi and Eren from their wedding. Levi is in his usual black suit and Eren donning white, the veil, his hair cut back to short, a bouquet of lovely red flowers at hand. Levi holding him close. Eren's smile brighter than the sun and even that man is-

Zeke lets out a wail. Miserable and piercing.

His body trembling as he pushes the invitation, the photo away. Back atop of the envelope it came in. Gasping when he finds one more article. Stuck behind the photo. He unfolds it. A letter.

From Eren.

 _Dear big brother,_ Eren starts off with. The agony, the pain and suffering Zeke had gone through as Levi beat him and tortured him within an inch of his life, robbing his dignity, dismissing his sorrow. Zeke would have rather gone through it all a thousand, and another times than have to read what Eren has written. Carefully. 

His feelings.

That he hopes Zeke will forgive him.

That he hopes Zeke will accept him marrying Levi.

That he loves Levi more than anything and is happy with him, wants to spend the rest of his life with him, and make him just as happy as he's made Eren.

That he loves Zeke as well and hopes one day he'll find the same happiness that he has.

And also.

That Eren forgives him.

Eren's truth.

He doesn't need it.

He doesn't want any of this.

If Eren can't be his-

Zeke sobs.

He cries until every tear he's never cried leaves his body. The noon sun turns the room dark, and the moonlight follows him as Zeke walks. Uncaring of his broken ankle. Falling. Getting back up. He goes down into the storage room to retrieve from camping trips, back up for the stoves and ovens, unused bottles of gas. Lighter fluid. The works.

He pours it over the shop. The backroom. The kitchen. He uncoils a fuse to follow him up back into their home which he douses in fuel as well. From one of the drawers in the kitchen he finds a lighter they usually used for candles.

He sits back down at the kitchen table.

Zeke picks up the wedding invitation, the photo. The letter.

He sets them at the edge of the table and holds the light to them and watches as they are consumed in the flames, burning his remaining fingertips as he picks it all up again.

He reads "I forgive you," as he drops the fire and the ashes onto the wet floor beneath him setting everything ablaze.

\--

Eren had been disappointed but he understood.

Zeke hasn't answered any of his calls.

He must be mad after what Eren did... and then Eren had even given Levi his key to go get some of his things he'd left behind because Eren had been... too scared to go himself.

And they'd even gotten into a fight.

When Levi had come home with all sorts of cuts and bruises, Eren had been distraught, then furious with Zeke all over.

Levi not saying much only that they'd broken some shit and he felt like shit.

Eren had cleaned and patched him up best he could, frowning and kissing at every bruise, around every cut. He'd suggested they go to hospital in case something might be broken, worse than he thought but Levi had kissed him quiet. Wanting to hold him. Have him.

Eren had felt guilty when he returned.

Unable to bring himself to tell Levi exactly... to tell him everything that'd happened.

He'd tried but ended up bursting into tears when Levi asked him if Zeke had kissed him.

He'd thought Levi may not want to kiss him ever again but here he was, insistent, greedy and expecting as always. Even though Eren was so dirty now. When it'd all come out, like a confession, Levi had only kissed him harder, holding him tightly, strongly. Eren had been so happy. Levi really is the best. Eren loves him so much.

The next morning. Eren replacing the patch that'd fallen off of the cut on Levi's face.

Levi had sat Eren down before a mirror.

Placing a towel around his neck.

He'd brushed out Eren's hair gently. Then carefully, precisely and cleanly. He'd given it a trim. Cutting it back to the length and style Eren typically had it. Exactly and perfectly. Eren saw looking at it in the mirror. Smiling, he'd jumped onto Levi, giving him a hug. Both falling back onto their bed. Levi grunting as Eren jostled some of his injuries. Eren apologising, making it up with kisses. More.

Levi telling him he may look like shit from fighting with his brother, but on their upcoming wedding day he wants at the very least for Eren to look his best.

They'd made love.

Levi kissing Eren's hand, his fingers, the ring he'd returned to Levi with.

A few days later they'd gotten married.

\--

A white curtain floats up momentarily from the brief breeze of the opened window.

Zeke had not expected to wake to anything but how he'd left the world, in a mass of destructive, unforgiving fire.

He'd been on his way from hell to hell.

He's lying in a bed.

Pillows behind his head. There's machines all around him, reading his pulse, his heartbeat. An assortment of fluids and tubes connect into him. There's bandages, casts. It feels like most of his head and face, his body is covered in them. Zeke looks from the window, the gentle sunlight too bright to him and warm as the figure at his bedside is.

There has been a mistake.

Arranging the sunflowers thoughtfully, making sure there's water in the vase. Is Eren, smiling gently to himself. The sunlight befitting of his features, his beauty. Zeke draws in a breath painfully as he looks at Eren. Having thought he'd never behold him in his sight again.

Eren turns, seeing him awake. 

Voice joyous.

"Big brother!"

He flings himself over him, hugging him through the bandages , the equipment. Zeke's body hurts but his heart rejoices as he can smell Eren's hair and feel his soft weight over him. Zeke remembering how Eren's tears had tasted as Eren wipes them from his eyes.

"The doctor said you were having a hard time waking up. So perhaps you never would."

Eren sits onto the chair positioned next to his bedside. Zeke thinking selfishly, indulgently that that is where Eren sits every day, every hour, waiting for him to wake-

Eren laughs, joking "And you used to tease me about being a heavy sleeper, stupid Zeke."

Eren smiling.

It's a dream.

Zeke thinks, willing this time to pretend, to lie like he's never.

So long as Eren would continue smiling at him like this-

Eren's expression turns serious as he regards Zeke.

"They're still looking for the culprit who did this. The staff here said you had severe injuries even before the arson. Leading them to think this intruder was trying to hide a more serious crime."

Eren is frowning.

"The house... the bakery... it's all gone Zeke."

There's nothing for him to return to.

But Eren is here.

Eren smiles again and Zeke cares for nothing else but this miracle.

Eren places a hand to his breast, expression assuring and determined.

"Do not worry though big brother. Concentrate on getting better. I will come visit you whenever I can. This is one of the best hospitals in all of Sina! Mr Le... ah, my husband says so!"

Zeke feels all the returned warmth leave him as that darkness encroaches, follows.

Slipping back into his surroundings.

Zeke sees on Eren's finger, a gold wedding band.

"His work is connected to this hospital so he knows the care is the very best! You'll be sure to be comfortable here!"

Eren's fingers curling, as he continues almost shyly, as if he'd boasted too much. 

Eren continues more bashfully.

"Mr... uhm, my husband will be making sure your care is funded so really don't worry about it at all big brother."

Eren's hands are about his lap, his face overcome with happiness. Tenderness.

"I told you before right. Mr Levi treasures me. So he wants to help me take care of my family too. I love him. He's wonderful. I know you'll see how wonderful he is one day too Zeke!"

Eren swallows.

"Since, it was my husband who saved you from the fire."

The darkness is all around him.

Zeke would have rather died.

"I told him I wanted our old family photo album since I didn't take any pictures with me when I left... but I wasn't sure I could face you so he went in my stead like all the other times. Of course he couldn't retrieve it but at the very least he was able to save you."

Zeke will hate Levi forever.

Not only will he not let him die yet.

He is making him see this beautiful expression on Eren, that isn't for him.

It is all for Levi.

Eren who loves Levi. Admires him. Is grateful to him.

Will spend the rest of his life with him with these exact feelings.

An eternity Zeke cannot touch.

"I don't know what I'd do without him..." Eren continues and Zeke cannot even bite his tongue off to end it.

The darkness is here.

The door is left ajar as Levi has come to retrieve Eren and take him away to some place Zeke doesn't know, won't ever know.

Levi clasps a hand over Eren's shoulder, the gold wedding band on his finger prominent as Eren slides his hand over Levi's and turns back to look at him.

"Is it that time already?" Eren asks.

Levi nods.

"We should hurry if we want to make the reservation in time."

Eren rises to his feet. Turning from Levi's touch to lean over and kiss Zeke on the cheek.

"I'll be back soon to see you big brother! I'll come bring you your favourite banana walnut porridge to eat okay?"

Zeke is fuming, shaking with anger.

He won't be able to taste the porridge Eren makes him.

He won't be able to tell Eren what really happened.

He won't be able to say Eren's name any longer.

Before he dies, unknowing of when that'll be.

He'll have to watch Eren live his life in the bliss of a lie created by this monster.

That man.

This bastard.

_Levi!_

Zeke glares at him hatefully. Cursing him from the depths of his heart, his being.

Levi leads Eren out. Eren looking at Zeke almost melancholy, before turning to smile at Levi who smiles back. Eren walks away out of the room. The room growing colder and darker, the farther his back disappears into the distance of the corridor.

Levi holds the handle of the door knob, ready to close it.

He looks over to Zeke as he does so, a pointer finger to his lips.

"Shhh," Levi tells him.

Zeke can't do anything.

Zeke can't say anything.

Levi had cut out his tongue.

In the dark.

The silence.

All his old fears present.

The door closes on Zeke with a creak and a click.


End file.
